I lost my brother over a year ago. A drunk driver of a skip truck crashed into him as he crossed the street. Nothing is the same ever since. I don't even know where to begin. He was only 21. He struggled with drugs and alcohol and battled severe depression for the most part. I was sucked into that world ever since. At so many points I lost control, felt too weak to exist, both physically and mentally. I get nightmares of all the things i've witnessed living with him prior to the accident and even worse, after losing him. I attempted suicide a couple times; both failed, and was involved in a severe car accident a few months ago. I guess this is God's way of telling me there must be a reason for me to stay. I'm trying to type but I have nothing to say. If anyone knows what I can do, to use this in a way to help or share the story, find out why I am still persisting on this planet; I have no clue myself, or recommend anything to help get me out of this endless loop. It's draining.