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I lost my best friend and the only man I’ve ever loved from the depth of my soul

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Knightm2, Nov 18, 2020.

  1. Knightm2

    Knightm2 New Member

    The man I loved from my soul... my twin flame passed suddenly on July 3, 2020. My heart hurts everyday. I’m so heart broken
     
  2. Richard@123

    Richard@123 Member

    hugs for you yes heartbroken is the perfect word happened to me also. Theres a good book on audiobooks or kindle by gary roe its called heartbroken. You may want to check it out it helped me a little just listening to other peoples stories and finding out im not crazy . Agian sorry for your loss
     
    Songstress likes this.
  3. Kay Bob

    Kay Bob Member

    I know that feeling. My husband suddenly gone. No time to prepare myself. We’d been together since teens. Now I’m alone!
     
  4. JenniferB

    JenniferB New Member

    My fiancé of over 10 years passed away Oct 5, we shared everything worked together amd now I’m left with nothing amd I am devastated
     
  5. Lisa MacIntyre

    Lisa MacIntyre New Member

     
  6. Lisa MacIntyre

    Lisa MacIntyre New Member

    I lived with my man whom.i adored for 13 years. He died an alcoholic death.
    I, as well am left with nothing.
    I miss him horribly. He was a good person. Not a mean bone in his body. Just sickness. I have taken a leave of absence from school so I can grieve. I cannot think straight. My soul is empty and lost.
     
  7. Richard@123

    Richard@123 Member

    God i know what you are going through my second wife was what is known as a functioning alcaholic. She died a year and a half ago from copd and just complete body failure. Never had the chance to even say goodbye. Still hurts maybe even more now since last year i spent avoiding it . Now with help i am facing it, I send you hugs and hope you seek help from a professional if you need it. And with all our grief we have to be in this damn pandemic which does not help anyone let alone those of us that are grieving . My broken heart goes out to you.
     
  8. Lisa MacIntyre

    Lisa MacIntyre New Member

    It's only been a couple of weeks. I found him Nov 8 and have some PTSD going on. I'm 55 and was due to graduate a 2 year MT program in Feb. I cannot think straight, let alone take on the rest of my course at school. It was our retirement plan. I would give massage and Art would teach diving. I'm absolutely heartbroken and confused as to how a man as strong as an ox and one of the most intelligent people whom I've ever know could be so controlled by this horrific disease and the insatiable demons. I know the moment he died his spirit was set free. The demons were slain and he is at peace. Knowing this helps a bit, but it doesn't help , it's too fresh.
    Time heals they say. It eases the pain, they say.
    God willing I say.
    My broken heart goes out to yours.
     
  9. PixieBob

    PixieBob New Member

    I understand. And I'm sorry.
    My best friend, my balance, my lover, my other half. I never believed in soulmates but after almost 20 years of love, sarcasm, fights, protectiveness, genuine empathy, occasional petty bs, understanding,inside jokes and complete knowledge of each other- good and horrible- I believe that I had my soul mate the whole time. And now he's gone. I find a void inside me. A numbness to reality, clear thought, and feelings. I am dead inside, yet interspersed with an overpowering pain that can get as physical as emotional.
    And who would I always turn to when life got to be too big to handle? The one man who is no longer in this world.
    I understand your pain. I wish I could wrap it into more small manigible fragments for you. I wish I could for myself as well. For all of us.
     
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  10. Richard@123

    Richard@123 Member

    Thank you for the kind thoughts and words. Hugs go out to you. I meet a man on thanksgiving when I went to the cemetery to visit my parents and grandma. He was a couple rows right behind me. As i was getting ready to leave i stopped by and asked who he was here for. Choking back a some emotion he said his wife. Its been 4 years now he said. It was wierd we actually kept finishing each others sentences. He said they tell you it gets better but it doesnt. So true i told him just have to try to learn to live with it. So hard . I thruthfully never thought it would hit me like this. KNew i would be said but this is just heartbreaking.
     
  11. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    Some say the tears are healing
     
  12. Richard@123

    Richard@123 Member

    Yeah well maybe the tears are but healing almost seems impossible i think its more learning to survive within the loss
     
  13. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    Another way to look at this is .our tears are an expression of our grief...the tears stopped eventually and there is some relief to try and be in the present with life.....its a continual cycle crying and then relief......eventually there will be a balance.... I have not found that yet but I am open to all healing that is possible
     
  14. Richard@123

    Richard@123 Member

    I know. I used to love christmas movies with all the trajedy than it always works out in the end. Can not watch them anymore. Its so not real. Trouble is people that havent experienced it think thats how we are all supposed to act like theres a time limit or some miracle word. And as we know there is not
     
  15. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    Grief has no timeline
     
  16. Patrick61790

    Patrick61790 New Member

    Hello my name is Patrick and I am new to this site and desperately looking for relief. I lost my wife of 10 years on November the 16th her birthday was November 21st the day of her viewing. She was my soulmate, my best friend, my everything and I can’t see living life without her. The pain I feel is horrendous and the emptiness is overwhelming. Being in this house by myself is extremely painful and I feel hopeless. I know what you and many are going through though this is fresh foe me as I saw it is for you. I pray that we both find some comfort and relief from the pain. Please pray for me, asi will for you and many others I am reading about here.
     
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  17. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    I can relate to you. Keep feeling your feelings. Let yourself cry.... ride the wave of intense emotions and keep a journal each day
     
    LivingWithGrace likes this.
  18. Richard@123

    Richard@123 Member

    yes i can relate . Cyan is right. I lost mey ex whom i remained close to on our sons birthday and my present wife of 31 years on our daughters birthday . My ex 2 1/2 years ago and my vicky a little over a year now on our daughters birthday. GRief is hard. The pain is feirce. If you think you need help from a theropist please please seek them out. I was one of those macho men that thought he i can get through anything. Well guess what this isnt anything this is a piece of my heart. Hugs for you and let your pain flow through you and not in you. I have not comepletly done it myself but i am trying
     
    Cyanotype likes this.
  19. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    It does take time and its different for everyone... its 4 months for me... some days I am quiet and other times I cry and cry.......I do write down my day and I have a therapist. Support is very important..... people who really understand.