I lost my baby sister and best friend

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by Justine Gardner, Jul 22, 2019.

  1. Justine Gardner

    Justine Gardner New Member

    At the end of March 2019 I received a call that my baby sister and only sister, was being rushed to the ER as she was showing “stoke” like symptoms. I arrived at the ER soon after to see her lying in a hospital bed. She was coherent but unable to speak. When I walked into the room she started to cry. This still haunts me bc I wonder what was going through her mind. I made a smart remark to her an she gave me the middle finger. That is how we showed love... that was the last communication I had with her. She was transported to bigger hospital n placed in NEURO ICU. This hospital was over an hour away from where we lived so by the time I got to her the doctors were evaluating her. They placed her in a medically induced coma for they had no idea what was wrong. They did scans and tests and spinal taps for days. I was adamant this all had something to do with a spider bite she got about a month prior. I had pics of the bite on my phone along with dates. The drs refused to listen to me, refused to test the bite area, which was still there with a black scab the size of a quarter. After 2 days they came n said she had bacterial meningitis but they could not pinpoint a source. They told us they expected her to make a full recovery. She was a 31 year old RN and very healthy. After being in the ICU 7 days she had a pon stroke, which is a stroke in the brain stem. We were told she probably wouldn’t live and if she did, the most she would ever be able to do is move her eyes, and that was being optimistic. They pushed for us to take her off the life support, they said once life support was off she wouldn’t live more than a few hours. Her husband and myself had to make that decision. After 4 very trying days we opted to let her go. She lived for another 9 days. 27 days I drove that dreadful route to be with her from morning till night. Each day watching her deteriorate a little more. She left behind a 17 year old daughter, a 7 year old son, lots of friends and family who loved her deeply... and me .
    MarkSteven likes this.
  2. MarkSteven

    MarkSteven Member

    Hello Justine,

    My name is Mark.
    I am new to this site and I wanted to tell you that I am sorry for your loss...
    that my heart goes out to you.

    I too lost my one and only sister and best friend.
    I wanted to reach out to you since we both lost our one and only sisters.
    Have you made a tribute page for your sister? I did and it helped me feel a tiny bit better.

    Please feel free to tell me more about your sister.
    I'm here if you want to chat.

    However, I may not be back online until tomorrow.
    So until then, this is me wishing you peace and comfort
  3. Justine Gardner

    Justine Gardner New Member

    Thank you for reaching out. I too am sorry for your loss. This world is full of unexplainable things. Idk about you, but I am stuck on this emotional rollercoaster. I go from angry to complete devastation to total denial. I do not know what the a tribute page is? I’ve only been on here a few times. How long has it been since you lost your sister? Do you have other family to help you cope? I do, however I don’t feel like any of them lost what I lost. Tomorrow is her birthday... that’s my next obstacle .
    MarkSteven likes this.
  4. MarkSteven

    MarkSteven Member

    Thank you, Justine!!!

    If you click under resources at the top, right-hand side of the page, a drop-down box will appear, then click the member tribute pages. It is a place to pay tribute to your lost loved one, in our case our sister; post a picture of her, tell about who they were, and what they were like, etc. I lost my sister on October 22 of last year so it has been 9 months, but the pain is still as fresh as the moment I lost her.

    I have a niece and a daughter but no other family to help me cope. Sometimes I remember my sister with laughter but most often it is with tears because I watched her mental and physical health decline and it was horrible to witness. I don't imagine tomorrow will be an easy day for you, but we can chat if you like. I mean if it helps you to talk about your sister, I am here for you and I will be happy to listen and if you need space I can give you that too.

    I have pictures of my sister on my wall and I see her face every day. I miss her with all of my heart. My sister's name is Melissa. I do have trouble coping with my loss and I talk to her as if she were right beside me. I understand about the roller-coaster and hope that you will find some peace and comfort for your pain.