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I lost my 12 yr old niece and my sister 5 months apart.

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Jes, Aug 27, 2017.

  1. Jes

    Jes New Member

    I am trying not to drown, keeping my head above water is hard everyday. On Feb 25 2017 my beautiful niece Madison passed away while playing in her room. She had a loft bed and thought it was the coolest thing to tie her Rob Belt to the bottom of the bed and use it like a swing. My sister nor I knew about this however the other 4 children including my Daughter who is 9 months older than Madison, knew and told her it wasn't safe several times. This time she swung hard enough to hit her head on the ladder and knock her out, at that time her body went limp and the belt came up around her neck. NO this was not a suicide it was truly an accident. That phone call from my Mom was one I will never beable to get out of my head "Madison is gone" "GONE?!? Gone where" My Maddie was my oldest niece and we were oh so close. This horrific loss hit my Sister and I oh so hard but two weeks later I almost lost my life and had to have emergency surgery so our grief was put on hold. My sister stayed at the hospital with me while our husbands took care of the kids and she took care of me through the first 2-3 weeks. We talked everyday we only had the two of us we are 3 years apart and very close from the get go. We had eachother to get through the loss of Madie, of course we had our separate counseling and I Live 3 hours away but on the way to work or during lunch and after work we would talk. In July I went the 3 hrs to help move my Dad closer to my sister, on that trip she told me that death doesn't scare her and that she wanted to know what Madie felt and if she struggled. My obvious answer was " she didn't feel anything she was knocked out, and those two other little girls, your nice and nephew and I need you we will get through this" " Anyhow I wish I knew exactly what she went through too but if you try to experiment I will never know" she said I know it was just a thought and that she would never try anything because that was stupid. I believed her she would never. Well I got the phone call on July 26th at 2 am from my Dad "Jes, Tiff hung herself" UM WHAT! I hung up jumped out of bed my husband and I ran in circles. I said " wait the kids start school, you have work I will make the 3 hr drive and see what's going on" it hadn't hit me I thought she was injured I thought I would get to take care of her like she took care of me and the slap her for braking her promise. I had to call my dad back " Dad is Tiff ok?" "No Jes she's gone" OK NOW MY WORLD HAS EXPLODED FROM THE CORE! She hung herself with a rob belt from the same spot as Madie off the Loft bed. My husband kids and I drove the 3 hrs in a panic AGAIN I ran in the door of my sister's home and grabbed my nieces so tight and just cried with them. The next few days were a blur there was the trip to the mortuary, then the Lawyer to try and make sure we could keep the girls and their Biological dad couldn't get to them (it sounds bad I know but he just got out of prison a ur ago and they girls don't know him at 10 and 11) we knew we would never see them again if he did. On July 31st we got a knock on the door from the sharif's department and Biological Dad had gotten emergency custody of the girls from a judge! Too much loss too close together
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Jes, I am so sorry to hear of the terrible losses you and your family have suffered. I think trying to keep your head above water is all that any griever can do. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I know it's not easy to do. But reaching out for help and connecting with other grievers can help- there are people here who understand. I hope we can be a support to you...please take care~
     
  3. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    I'm so sorry I just lost my sister and she was my best friend I know the pain you are going through
     
  4. Karenn78

    Karenn78 New Member

    I lost my niece as well. She was my sister’s only child and my daughter’s best friend. She was seven and hit by a car. It was beyond awful. This was almost two years ago. My heart is still horribly broken. I can’t imagine losing my sister, too. I am so very sorry for your enormous losses.