I Just Lost the Love of My Life after 25 Years, Together

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Fred, Jul 25, 2018.

  1. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

  2. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Well-Known Member

    Robin, hope you had an okay day on Sunday. I stayed at my daughters till Monday. Came home by myself without my granddaughter so of course cried but I did sleep good so I must of been exhausted. It’s crazy that I still expect my husband to be home or walk in the door every day. Do u still feel that way? Just waiting for the days to pass so I can fly to my brothers. We probably will have to stay in for a few weeks but that’s ok. I hope that being somewhere else will help my mood. Hope u are doing well and take care. Thanks for listening.
     
  3. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Cora,
    Father’s Day, was a bit rough, emotional for sure. Some of our plans didn’t go well. We wanted to make stepping stones for the memorial garden. Afraid we bought the wrong cement. But we ate Ron’s favorite foods and I did buy a small stone that says Forever wouldn’t be long enough. So I put that in the garden. And we cleaned out the weeds that were around the Japanese maple tree I had bought him for his last Father’s Day, and added fresh mulch. Ron would love it, he loved that tree and deer almost killed it. He was winterizing the tree the day he passed away. He loved it, and the fact that the deer almost killed it he was upset. He put tape around the trunk and then burlap wrap with leaves inside to protect it.
    I do still feel like he’s going to walk in the door at any minute. It keeps feeling like it’s been too long, time to come home. I also know coming home to an empty house feels awful. And lately I have things I’m having trouble with. Our pool filter died, and apparently with this covid and people staying home, everyone is putting pools in. I finally found a filter to buy, a bit over priced but I ordered it. Hope it shows up fast. I’m having some camel crickets in the house and I’m beside myself with those things. But I had a lucky thing happen, I got my yard sprayed for ticks and mosquitoes for free. The guy sprayed my whole yard and I went out and talked to him, thinking my brother payed for spraying because he knew I was upset over bugs. But the guy did the wrong house. It was organic too. He said well it’s your lucky day you got protection for free. I’m hoping it helps with other bugs as well.
    When do you leave for your brothers? I hope it does you some good too. I think it’s a smart choice, the social distancing is making our healing hard. Coming home to an empty house might be difficult though.
    I mowed our front lawn today, but but someone stop and chat and ask how I was doing. Nice of him but he stayed too long and made me emotional
    Do what you can to stay busy, it does help.
    We help each other. ❤️
     
  4. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Well-Known Member

    Robin, I think your husband knew u needed your lawn spray and that’s why u got that blessing. I do feel like that happens. At my daughters house she has a drip system in her front yard and we had two leaks. Of course I want to pick up my phone and call my husband so it’s hard when things like that happen. But I called one of my brother by FaceTime and he walked us through it. I told my daughter that I was going to wash the mud off and go to buy parts and In the shower I heard I have those parts in a tin box in garage. I went right to it and there it was so I know that was my husband. I told my daughter that will now we can landscaper so we can do anything. Little by little I am trying things that I never would have. I just wished I was a mechanic like my husband then I would be happy. Lol. I have all these tools and a garage that I don’t use but my son will some day, if he ever needs them. We are leaving for Michigan on July 11th can’t wait cuz of course Arizona is getting a lot of cases and it gets scary. I love taking care of my lawn too so going to hire my niece to take care of it while I am gone, don’t want a yellow lawn when I come home lol. I know what u say about critters. I have had this gropher come and go since by husband gone and I think damn it my husband would of gotten that damn critter the first hole. I had to go to my back doc today because of all the work I did at my daughters . It was nice to get out but of course I cried again cuz he lost his wife on June 6th. She had been ill for several years but I was like man I don’t think I could be working so soon. But I think men need to work after something like that happens. I have been going to him since the 80 and they are such great people. I thought god this life sucks but then I thought thank god I have my children and grandchildren cuz I don’t know if I would even be doing okay. Then I thought my husband wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to me so I gave to hold it together for him and my family. I will be with my father and two brothers plus my wonderful sister in law that we just adore so I am hoping for a little healing time. As I am writing this my husbands favor song comes on and I think ok there he is again. God how I loved that man and miss him so much. Hope u stay safe and try to have a good summer. Take care and god bless
     
  5. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Cora, I believe you’re right about the free lawn spray. Ron is taking care of me. I love all your stories on how your husband is helping you, I totally believe too. Last fall when we were trying to bleed the sprinklers at my daughters house we felt, we can do this. We’ve helped Ron as he did it. But as we’re going through the steps we felt stumped, what’s next? We sat and contemplated and all the sudden, I knew exactly what to do and how to finish, and then my daughter got the messages too. A couple weeks ago we built a new gate, and we needed more wood, my daughter says ok let’s make a Home Depot run. I look at her and I say, no we don’t need to. She says yeah we do. I tell her that her Dad is telling me we have everything we need right here, I’m not buying anything else and sure enough we found what we needed. Ron also helped me find my lost credit card. He told me it was in the car and I found it there. I get songs that are his favorites and it happens in stores and on stations that wouldn’t play that music. They’re with us. Not like we want and need, but they’re trying to help us.
    I’ve gone down that same path, life sucks path, but like you said, look at the positive. Our children keep us going, and your grandchildren. And our husbands want us to be ok. When I start to slide down that path I think, Ron can’t do anything, he’s not here to see or enjoy anything. Except I do believe he’s watching over us. So I need to buck up and make him proud. He’s my inspiration
    I have the same sentiment, I love him so and miss him more then words can express.
    Stay healthy, and take care.
    Little more then 2 weeks and you get a nice change of scenery. I seriously believe it will be good for you.