I feel lost and alone

It’s been a little over a year and half since I lost my soulmate to a motorcycle accident. I heard that times heal all wounds but that is definitely a lie. The pain is just unbearable as it was from the beginning and the nights are still as lonely as the day I lost you. I’m not quite sure if anyone else feels the way I do but I feel so alone and nobody quite gets it at least not around me.... my emotions are so up and down. I cannot seem to control them, I am so lost.

 

Wow a year and a half. I feel the same way. I just lost my soul mate. She was my everything. You could call her my engine and petroleum! I lost mine literally watched her pass. I was on the pooper talking to her and she fell over with blue lips. I even brought her breakfast cause she said she wasn't feeling good that morning. She she was happy when I surprised her with breakfast. come to find out she didn't even touch it. It is just super hard right now. Everyone said one day at a time. But easier said then done! Hope you have a good night. Brian

 

The pain is overwhelming . I can’t wait for it to end! I’m sorry for the pain you are going though. It seems like it never ends and I keep asking everyone will it ever stop hurting!!! Everyone says you just learn to live with it. How unfair is life to take someone we love away from us and everyone around us thinks we just go back to normal. I hope you find peace how stupid that may sound, that’s what I’m looking for. Is just one day I don’t cry and feel lost. This site does seem to help with some feeling.

 

I hope this site helps eases your pain a bit. Losing someone we love is just shit. And the stages are all over the place.

 

I am so sorry for your loss, it’s debilitating I know. I lost my soul mate 1 year and 3 months ago. I know the loneliness, and the pain your feeling. You are not alone, I feel Exactly the way you’re feeling. And it’s awful. My husband had no health issues, and he felt stomach sick, then the pain went to his chest. From feeling sick to losing the love of my life, 2 hours. And was never sick.
You’re right, no one understands, our families and friend have no clue what this feels like. But, they haven’t been through it so how could they. Even after telling my family members they still aren’t supportive. I’m With you, as are most people on this site, nights are the worst. I have trouble with weekends almost as much. I’m actually feeling like I’m going backwards and feeling worse lately. You’ll get great support on here people know how you feel and there’s no judging just compassion. I’m still just going one day at a time and thankful Ive made it through another day. The emotions, the lost feeling, the foggy brain, loneliness, we’re all in the same boat. I have people on here that I feel are my forever friends, they’ve helped me so much and are there when I need them.
For whatever reason, reading other people’s stories and seeing what we’re feeling is what everyone else feels too. Those things seem to give some comfort.
People on here are here to offer support, I believe this site has helped me and hopefully it’ll help you too. Keep the hope.
Robin

 

You’re right, one day at a time is easier said then done. All the sudden our every day things are crippling. I am so sorry for your loss! This site has helped me a lot, I’m hoping it does the same for you. People all feeling the same feelings, going through the same torture. You may have seen above, my husband passed from a massive heart attack 1 yr and 3 months ago. Im afraid I’m still suffering. I have ups and downs. The ups aren’t as up as I’d like but there are times that are better then they used to be. The downs, well you know all too well. I’m hoping you have support from family and friends, take any offers for help. You need as much support as you can get. Even if someone says what can I do. Ask them to come over on a given day and have a cup of coffee. It’s all helpful. I have no magic potion that helps with the pain, but I wish I did. If one day feels like too much then one hour at a time, one minute. Don’t look too far ahead it becomes overwhelming. The empty, lost alone feelings are what we’re all feeling. Somehow it helps knowing others are having the same feelings.
Thinking of you, Robin

 

I like what you said about if someone asks what they do to help, it's a question I've been asked a lot over the last 3 months. My first reaction to that question was to say thanks, I'll let you know but my son explained to me that these people are mourning the loss as well and want to help, I've since accepted help in many ways such as calling them when I need to talk or inviting them over for a visit or in other ways too, it's good advice you've given Robin !!

 

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you’re feeling. It’s like a nightmare that we never wake up from. There’s no words that can even express the loss we’re going through. and I’m afraid people don’t understand. You only understand if you lose someone that means the world to you. I haven’t had people tell me you learn to live with it, but that thought makes me ache more, but it is plausible, I don’t know. Our lives are nothing like they used to be, the happy feelings are gone and we’re just trying to get through a day at a time. I’m glad you think this site has been of some help to you, I know it has helped me. Knowing our feelings are what everyone else feels seems to help. We’re all on the same journey and the road is very bumpy that’s for sure. Our routines are gone, everything we’re used to is different. It takes so much time and I’m not anywhere close but I am a little better sometimes. I hate the empty house, the quiet house. It’s deafening it’s so quiet. Keep trying to get through each day, hour or minute, whatever it takes.
My thoughts are with you, Robin

 

Thank you, Bogman, I learned that the hard way. People asked and I said thanks. But then I learned, I should have said please just sit with me, or bring coffee and keep me company. Sitting with a family member or friend is so helpful. I have trouble asking for help, but I’m getting better at it.

 

I have the same issue, I don't ask for help. I'm used to being the one that helps. I've barely heard from my sister, which surprises me since she also lost her husband early due to an illness after his being ill for several years.

 

I’m so sorry your sister hasn’t been a good support for you. My sister isn’t supportive to me either. She hasn’t had this kind of loss, but you’d think a sister would be there for you. It hurts.

 

Sorry to hear you have the same issue, you're correct you'd think that would be the case. I recall being there for mine and at that time I also hadn't experienced it, however I don't think it takes much to realize that it hurts. I will admit, I didn't know how much.

 

Thank you. You were doing and being a good sister. You hadn’t experienced this awful heart break and yet you were there for her. I’d like to think I would have been also if a family member went through such a loss. I know I was there for my Mom, that might be a different situation, I’m not sure. I know my sister wasnt there nearly as much as I was for my Mom.
Isn’t it common sense that the love we have for our spouses, or loved one grew with each passing day, month, year. It didn’t happen over night. Our love grew over time but the loss hits your heart like a punch. But the love, the life together doesn’t turn off like a switch. Yet, there’s people who think we should be ok in such a short time.
I’ll admit too, I didn’t even know your heart could feel this much pain.

 

Speaking of time, 37 years ago today I met my husband. We celebrated this day along with our wedding anniversary as important dates. How I wish he were
here.

 

I wish he was there with you too. Ron and I celebrated the date we met too. I understand how you’re feeling. So many dates in our lives together have so much meaning. Every day without our spouse or loved one is difficult, special dates, even worse. Thinking of you today and every day.

 

Thank you, Robin. I think of you and others on here daily, so many heartbreaking losses.