I don’t know what to do with myself

I’m not even sure why I’m here. I lost my fiancé two weeks ago, sudden and unexpected. I found him. I have flashbacks. I hurt so much. Or I don’t feel anything at all.
This is confusing and painful and surreal.
We just got engaged 4 months ago after 5 years together. He loved me with all of his being. He was truly special. I feel lost. I feel pointless. I ache all of the time.

 

Hi Sjsherman, I'm sorry you lost your fiance. My condolences to you. I understand how you are feeling. My husband passed away 4 weeks ago. Recently I found walking outside to be beneficial. I walk once or twice a day for about 45-60 minutes at a time. Today, I also swung in a swing at a playground. Being outside in the fresh air and the movement helps calm me and lets me organize my thoughts. I pray for peace and tranquility to come to you quickly.

 

I’m so sorry for the unexpected loss of your fiancé. I know it’s hard and very painful. And people don’t understand this pain. I lost my husband very suddenly also. Together 44 years. Never sick and he suffered a massive heart attack almost 2 years ago, taken from our wonderful life in 2 hours. It is scary and lonely. LivingWithGrace gave you great advice. Try to push to get outside and breath in fresh air. It’s the one thing that helps me the most. I dread the winter coming but I’m still hoping to get fresh air as often as possible. My son made me promise before he left to go back home after the funeral that my daughter and I would get outside every single day. I kept that promise. Even though some day’s I just went in my back yard. Your loss is very resent and I’m sure your mind is whirling and can’t think straight I’m sure sleep is difficult. I hope you have people in your life offering support. Accept all support and ask a friend or family member to just sit and have coffee with you. That’s great support.
Please know that how you’re feeling is very normal. Try to eat and drink water. You’re not alone. Everyone on this site gets it. Visit the site often and read and share stories. It’s very helpful.
sending you hugs!