I don’t know how to keep going

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by Soulfeed, Apr 16, 2020.

  1. Soulfeed

    Soulfeed New Member

    I lost my younger sister one year ago very suddenly and unexpectedly. Still no medical explanation even after an autopsy. She was only 24. Then less than 6 months later my dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He is now dying and on hospice with days to live. His decline was very rapid. I don’t know how to keep going without both of them. My kids loved them both so much. My youngest won’t even remember them. My heart is breaking.
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Soulfeed,

    So sorry for the point you are at in life. To lose your sister and then to also face the coming loss of your dad is enough to crumble even the strongest of anyone.

    During my marriage my wife Nadine of 42 years, faced the deaths of her two younger brothers, an older sister, her parents, and lastly her beloved grandmother. She found it so hard to face life after she was discovered to have cancer herself, which she would lose a ten year battle with.

    Soulfeed, my dad also died of lung cancer, I know the heartache we face when facing so many deaths, they turn our life upside down and take away from us so much happiness. I wish I could take the pain away, but as I have learned no amount praying can reverse so many tragedies in life.

    I hope you will take the time to be with your dad for as much as time will permit, If you can talk with each other, or even if you can’t just sit and talk with him will help you. Please don’t be afraid to cry in front of anyone, it is natural. Take all the moments you have with dad slowly, cherish them, they will be with you forever.

    I know when my dad died of lung cancer, I had a chance to cry in front of him, hug, tell how much he meant to me, and how much I would miss him forever. Dads are special, they were our provider, our protector, our teacher of values, and someone who we could look to for answers even in the most troubling of times. So I hope you have so many more moments with your dad.

    Sure you feel like it is impossible to live without your sister and your dad and how your own children will face the news if they don’t already know. It is easy, I know my two sons were with me when my mom and dad died, and then to see the passing of mothers, it is something we wish I children would never have to deal with in life. I just know, I realize my sons were crushed with their moms passing. It isn’t easy losing someone special, but with the time sorrow can be faced and our fear of these losses can be overcome.

    Of course your heart breaks for them, for you, for what you have lost and are about to lose with your dad. It is not easy and if you can have the help of family, or friends it can help. Talking with others, like us can also help as well. You just need time, as we all do after loss.

    Please make sure to keep taking care of yourself. Never give in to despair that leads to depression. Loss can be such a lonely broken road to travel, but you are not alone, there are others out there who can see, feel, and understand what the loss has meant to you.

    Peace be with you and all the days forward.

    -david


    This is a song for you


     
  3. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. As far your dad I'm sorry he's sick but do as David said talk to him. Spend as much time with him as you can. Let him feel your presence and love. Pray for strength and look at your kids. That will help give you motivation to keep moving. Praying for you