My mother passed away this morning. She had metastatic cancer but we only found a couple of weeks ago. We helped her make the decision to have a mastectomy, based on the surgeon’s positive prognosis but an infection remained afterward and she deteriorated. My dad, brother and I were unable to visit her, due to COVID and once she was in ICU, we couldn’t speak to her. I’m not married, have no kids, have my own medical issues and my parents are really all that make me happy in this life. It’s unfortunate to say that as an adult but it’s true. I moved back in with them when I was having a lot of medical problems, so I was with my mom every day. The house has been so quiet since she’s been gone. I can’t handle the fact that I’ll never hear e sound of her voice again. She was my best and really only friend and I don’t know how I will cope with spending every day alone. I wish I had an older sister, close female friend or relative but I don’t. I need a compassionate female in my life. Nobody could ever take the place of my mother but it would definitely help. I keep wanting to talk to her and that will never be possible again.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I’m so sorry you and your family members couldn’t visit or be close to support her. This health crisis is making you all not be able to give support to her or receive support for yourselves. I can’t even imagine. I totally understand the close relationship you had with your Mom. I lost my Mom, she suffered from dementia, she was my best friend, my Dad past first, and I became even closer to my Mom. When I lost my dad I didn’t think I could live another day without him. But I had to help my Mom through her loss. Then I lost her too and was devastated again. This was years ago. My recent loss is my husband. 16 months ago. He started having stomach virus symptoms, that changed to chest pain. He was having a heart attack. They worked on him at the hospital but couldn’t save him. They had all cardiologists at the hospital working on him. I was told it was a massive heart attack and even if he had seen a cardiologist the day before they wouldn’t have seen it. We had no previous signs, this happened out of no where, we spent a happy day together and I made us chicken rice soup for dinner. He didn’t feel well at 9:30 pm and by 11:34 pm I lost the love of my life. So I understand the loss of your Mom being so devastating, the house feeling quiet and empty. Realizing you won’t hear her voice and not just losing your Mom but your best friend too. I totally get it. I’m suffering with the lonliness and empty quiet house with the loss of Ron. This social distancing we’re going through is making me feel worse. I’m sorry you have health issues to continue to deal with as well. What worked best for me was talk about my loss and the pain it’s causing. I tried to keep my mind busy, but your loss is so very new, just try to be, keep you Dad and brother close. Talk with them and share feelings. When Ron passed, my 2 adult children and I slept together in our living room, so none us were alone. We supported each other all night every night for a week. In such a devastating time, I think back at that it still feels good that I had that support. This site has been very helpful to me, sharing your story and your feelings helps a lot. Reading other people’s stories helps too. Please know you’re not alone, everyone on here understands how you feel and we’re all experiencing it as well. You will receive support and compassion. Let the tears fall, that helps as well. Thoughts are with you and your Dad and brother. This is such a difficult time. Sending you hugs! Robin
I’m sorry to hear of the passing of your mom. I’m new here as well so I’m not seasoned yet. Like yourself, I lost my parent...my dad...my rock! He was healthy all his life but in January of this year he became deathly ill. He was admitted to the ER with five or six major illnesses...any one of which would have been sufficient for a young man of 70. He was in ICU for two weeks during which time he was intubated and placed in a medically induced coma for about a week. Finally, he went to a room. We moved to Swingbed in February but by Valentine’s Day we were back in the hospital. This time we decided to go home on Home Health. I took care of him until March 17. He passed away that afternoon. I made it through the funeral. Then, it hit me...I’d never hear his voice again. That was something that hit me like a load of bricks. I had the chore of cleaning out his house. I was so busy I didn’t have time to think but since things have slowed down, I realize the house is deafeningly quiet. I will be doing something and out of habit say...I need to call dad. I was his caretaker from the day he became ill until the day he died. I would not trade that time for anything. I miss him more than I can express. Much like you, I don’t have many people that I regard as friends. I too could use a friend at this time. You will make it through and I believe there are many caring and genuine people here. If you need to talk, I am available. Just know, even though it feels differently...you are not alone. TJones
