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I’m so tired of being the strong one!

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by Tisha, Apr 21, 2021.

  1. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    I’m the family’s matriarch. That requirement is showing I’m strong and can help everyone get through all this. I’m dying inside. Dec 9th my mother in law passed away suddenly. My husband only child we’ve had to close everything out etc. We miss her so much. February 24th we get the news my husband has stage 4 lung and trachea cancer 7-10 months they say. So that’s not enough on March 30th, my 28 year old daughter in law was in an ATV accident. She’s is still in a coma, back broken brain damage etc . If nothing changes by Monday they’re taking her off life support I know she’s not waking up, everyone else knows. I’m tired, I cry in private I feel if I crack then they’ll all totally break because I’m the strong one. But I’m not! I just fake it! I’m so lost, so really really lost!
     
    Jstkpswimming and Chris M 2000 like this.
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Omg Tisha, you've come to right place for support. Everyone on this site understands the pain and offers compassion and support. Use this site to help you let off what you’re bottling up inside. We’re here to help you through this nightmare you’re in. How could you not be lost, you’re life is crashing and at a fast pace. Take deep breaths, get fresh air. Remember to take care of you. Your strength comes through in the love and care you offer. You’re in my prayers! Sending you hugs, you need them. ❤️
     
    Tisha likes this.
  3. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    Thank you for reaching out to me!
     
  4. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    It is very hard for us to understand why everyone is still leaning on us when we are the one who has suffered such a loss. My pastor told me he really needed me at church when I had just lost my son to suicide. I wondered how he could say he needed me, when I was the one in such great need. But they are right. Even though you feel like you could crack and break and are exhausted physically and emotionally, you are still strong. Others can see that in you and you will make it through this. Take it moment by moment. Take good care of yourself and be good and kind to yourself. We cannot be the strength for everyone else when we barely have enough strength to get through this ourselves. God can be your strength, your comfort, and can help you get through this. Take it slowly and you will begin to see the light at the end of your very dark tunnel. Love to you. Chris
     
  5. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    I can truly understand why you titled this, 'I am so tired of being the strong one.' Great losses require a lot of strenght to get through them, but I encourage you to keep on, because you can get through this.
     
  6. Tisha

    Tisha Member

     
  7. Tisha

    Tisha Member

    Thank you. Your words are perfect. I’ll figure it out a minute at a time. We did have to take my daughter In Law off Life Support Beautiful 28 year old girl gone. But I’ve got to keep going to prepare for the next and worse thing I think I’ll go through. So sorry about your son. My dad committed suicide. Suicide loss is a whole different type of grief! I’m sure that was awful. Your a strong woman hope I can hang on like you did!!!
     
  8. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    Hi Tisha. You have made it through another day. I know you will hang on. I have confidence in you. We all have to have a reason to go on. Mine was that I didn't want my husband to get up and go in the living room by himself, so I got up. You have been through so very much-one thing after another. You are strong too because of all you have had to go through even before all of this happened. I know you can do it. I love you. Keep in touch. Chris