Husband is gone and waiting for him to come back

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by Markswife, Apr 7, 2019.

  1. I am so empty… My wife did the same thing in April, I’m so lost
     
  2. Missingmjm

    Missingmjm Member

    I am reading a book called It’s OK TO NOT BE OK. This has been helpful as it reminds us that pain comes a long with great love. It says that we need to allow ourselves to experience the grief as long and in the way we need. Society wants us to get over it quickly and to move on as soon as possible. This book acknowledges that we have been through a horrific loss and our pain is a natural response. We can learn to live in the pain and the grief but we can do things when we are ready to alleviate our suffering. Feel the pain. Cry. Shout. It is OK and it is what our soul and our broken hearts need to do. I find myself being stoic at times while trying to help others feel comfortable about my loss. Those who care about us want us to get better. We cannot return to normal. Our futures as we had seen them are gone. I plan to allow myself to grieve and to miss my husband desperately as long as my heart tells me to. I will never “get over it”. This has become a part of my story. I wish you comfort. Keep sharing. We here do understand.
     
  3. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    This is all so true. Thanks for posting. I never want to forget the love I had for my husband. I have cried,shouted and gotten mad sometimes all in same day.
    I will never forget to forget would be erasing most of life.
     
  4. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    Last sentence should read: I will never get over it. By doing so I feel I would be erasing our love.


    Does anyone know how to edit on here?
     
  5. Missingmjm

    Missingmjm Member

    I live in Ridgecrest where we have been experiencing earthquakes. Soooo much scarier alone.
     
  6. Missingmjm

    Missingmjm Member

    Sadly my husband died of a self inflicted gun shot wound. No big autopsy needed but the coroner did a abbreviated one. They sent me the coroners report and I actually started reading it! Ugh. What was I thinking??? I filed it away. Maybe I should shred it. He died April 5. I had planned on working my grief a bit this summer as I am a teacher and had some time off. Then the big earthquakes happened. I live in Ridgecrest,CA. I was terrified going through that alone. I was feeling angry at my husband for leaving me as he did. So many mixed emotions... I found this place a while back. I hope to spend some time here again. Wishing everyone peace.