How will I never see my dad again

My dad passed away almost 4 months ago. We had no closure, no good byes, no idea I would never see him again. It’s my dad so I just assumed my baby and I would see him the next weekend when he was supposed to come over. How do you ever learn to live with this? I look at his photos and feel confused and conflicted inside, this is my dad and he should walk through the door any second like he always has my whole life. He is always here for us, we need him but he is gone. My mom has so much sadness, I don’t k ow how it will ever go away. He’d husband just gone one day, never any idea she would never ever see him again. Their whole life, every single thing they saved for, worked for, now he will never be a part of it. This loss is too confusing for me, I don’t see how these feelings ever get better? I can carry on with my life and we both function but it is deep heavy pain that will always be inside.

 

Sorry for your loss. I too am in a grieving place and can’t seem to move. I lost my husband almost 7 months ago and have been miserable every day since. I feel lost, alone, scared, angry and every emotion in between. I would never wish these feelings on anyone. It just seems like one day , he got lost and I have been looking for him every day and I know he will never come home again but god how I wish he would. I don’t know how people get Thur this miserable days and nights. I just want my husband back.

 

I lost my dad and my solemate close to four months ago.Since then I have been through all sorts of emotions. Deep emptyness and loneliness,anxiety and depression. Total confusion and loss of purpose in life are other feelings I do not wish for anyone. The main problem is that, except for my mother, I am totally allone without a family on my own. If I known this some years ago I would have made a bigger effort of finding a partner in life
I have a mixed personality, both introvert and extrovert sides. Now I feel stressful because I quickly have to find somebody to share my life with. By the way, I am living with my mother now bacause I cant stand beeing alone in mynapartment. Not the best of situations.

 

Cora,
I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much. Losing our soul mate or loved one is like living a nightmare. I’ve been through the time frame you’re at right now. It’s kind of like, ok it’s been long enough, time for you to come home now. It is hard to wrap our minds around never see them again. There’s still so much love left to give and share.
Today is the anniversary of the day we first met. We celebrated our meeting day and our anniversary. Today is 46 years since we met and knew we just met our life partner. June 4th would be our 43rd anniversary. Difficult days.
Getting through the days and nights can be so hard, I use my love for Ron to help me, he’s my inspiration to keep going. He wants me to, I know this. Am I healed, no. But am I doing better, yes.
There are better days ahead, it takes time. Keep enjoying your grandchildren.

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. Our parents are such important people in our lives, they helped carve us into the people we’ve each become. I lost my Dad when I was 34, and thought my life was over, I need my dad. I’m not done learning from him. But I was married with 2 young children and my Mom needed my support. But the loss of my Dad was life changing so I understand how you feel and the emotions that go with it. It’s hRd! We think our parents are super heroes and will be with us forever.
I’m on this site because I lost the love of my life suddenly to a heart attack, when he had no health issues at all. That was 18 months ago. Sometimes I think, how did I make it to today. Some of it is a blur that’s comes with the loss of a loved one. The foggy brain seems to hit everyone going through such a loss. But things do get better with time. This virus certainly isn’t helping matters.
Let your emotions happen, let the tears fall, don’t hold back, it is helpful. I’m sure you Mom is thankful to have you around. Talk things through with each over and support each other. Keep posting on here and share stories and read other people’s stories, it’s all very helpful. This site has been a huge life saver for me. The people on here understand the pain, the loneliness the nightmare that we’re all living through. You’re not alone.

 

Many thanks RLC!
Some days are more difficult than others as everybody here probably know. Today was one of those days when a new emotion arrived in form of total restlessness! I did not know what to do, then I thought of this site and it is such a help. I think one misstake to do is to begin to compare Your life with other happy peoples when You are feeling low. Today it is a beatiful summers day and I am just greeving when I should enjoy life instead. I am a totally different person now, I never felt sorry for myself before. Again, this site is so helpful. My mother is fantastic, withot her I would not get any food and I lost a lot of weight before moving in here. She doesn't greeve the way I do and she doesn't like to talk much about her feelings. Instead she is doing a lot of gardening and talk to herself instead. Thanks to this site I can let my feelings out and take part of others. Internet is blessed in some ways and totally fantastic.

 

I’m having a rough day today too. For me it’s the day Ron and I met for the first time. It’s 46 years tonight. I miss him so much.
You’re right everyone grieves in their own way and time. It’s a beautiful sunny day here also. I’m working on the memorial garden I made for Ron last year. Clearing out weeds and adding plants. I’m at my best when I’m outside breathing in fresh air. Maybe try to go outside and get fresh air, it can be very helpful.
I totally agree that we become different people after such a loss. I look in the mirror and feel like who is that person. I’ve aged and lost a lot of weight, but I am doing better and pushing forward. Our bodies and minds seem to go into shock, which is understandable. Everything we know and are used to, it’s all different now.
I’m glad you’re on this site and can see how helpful it is.
Take care of you and your Mom.
Robin