How to do things you used to do together

So how do you start to enjoy the things you used to do together again? We used to watch movies and music concerts on a projector screen. I haven’t been able to use it since. We used to love watching concerts and having a few drinks. We had so much fun. Now I don’t enjoy either. I guess it’s good I don’t enjoy the drinking. Me and the alcohol have not had a good relationship since my she passed. I’m just wondering do we ever start to like the things again we used to love?

 

I guess in time, in measured doses. As I've said on a couple other threads I have shows on the DVR that I recorded while he was in the hospital, didn't watch them because we were going to do that when he got home. I also can't delete them. I started to watch some of them here and there last week. Take in one of the concerts here and there, or just watch half or what you can, pour yourself one drink, even make it a mocktail, some club soda and OJ. If alcohol isn't sitting well with you now or as it does is a depressant best to avoid. Try incorporating a new tradition into it that's yours alone, maybe pop some popcorn or something special that you like that you didn't do together but like enough to look forward to it.

 

Skies,

Wow-what a great question. I hadn't given much thought to how to think of those from the past. I, of course, remember them, I remember all those special times we had together - All of these people have passed on

- as a child as I listened to my mom sing to us
- as my dad take me fishing
- as my two uncles would teach me about nature and so many other things
- as my closest uncle and aunt would come and play cards with my parents as a child and I stood there and watched them with a smile on my face
- as my grandfather would take me to the fair
- as my grandmother would cook all those cakes and pies, but grandfather was the meal cooker, he was a cook in World War 1
- as my wife and I would go to concerts, to so many parks, to so many events and visit foreign lands, and most importantly our two sons together

The list goes on, but I won't tell of them all, including the Vietnam deaths

But what I wanted to share with you how all those memories were special, they all were born of love. I have found at least for me, I won't let myself ever forget. I would rather feel melancholy, shed tears, and just do what I can to remember. You don't necessarily have to do or watch those same things, he will always be with you, just like all of them with be with me.

That is why some things I will never part with. That is just who I am and how I now exist in life, so that when the sounds stop, the light goes out at night, I am no longer alone anymore, I am with someone, there are just so many to remember, my life is still full.

Take care of yourself. Allow for your tears to gently flow and remember so those memories will be with you for a lifetime.

-david

I hope you like this song

 

Thank you glego for your answer. I have been facing the same issue. My husband passed away in January. We watched so many tv shows together and hockey. After he passed (before the season was ended by covid) I couldn't even turn on a game. it was too hard with no one there to talk to about it and share it with. He had set the DVR for a few shows and I tried to watch one but it just wasn't the same without him commenting on it. Today I got lunch at a place he always wanted to try and saw something on the menu I knew he would've been crazy about and I almost broke down. I don't want to lose that part of me just because he's not here.

 

Skies,

For me, the things me and my dad did together brings me comfort. He was a collector of many splendor things. Some that were valuable and some that were silly to a point. I inherited most of those collections and there is one in particular I visit quiet often. He was a coin collector and he got me into collecting as well. He would always “suggest” coins for me to buy to add to my collection...or his if he was feeling extra silly. So, over the years this became our hobby. It probably doesn’t mean much to anyone else but it holds memories for me that are unforgettable. For instance, I can look through his collection and I feel close to him. I mean, I he was a better collector than I will ever be but I will look at some pieces and think - what were you thinking dad? It’s like a puzzle trying to figure out the why! Is it valuable? Is it just something he liked? Is it nothing more than a good deal he couldn’t turn down? Now, I still have that personal link to him.

I think you will get to a place where you do start to enjoy things again. Don’t be too quick to write it off because it is what you and your person used to do. You can still do it and bask in the memories of your loved one.

Thanks for posting and giving others something to respond to. As you see, we all embrace things differently but if it works...it works!

TJ

 

Yes, small doses. I'm the bigger sports fan, but if Chicago was competitive we'd watch together. Such a memory having the series of The Last Dance on, we watched so many of those games together, not only that but my husband worked at a car dealership where the owner had season tickets. We lived not too far from the stadium. My husband didn't care for crowds, but whenever the tickets were available he got them for me and friends to go. So seeing those games just brought it all back to are younger days. I wish I could turn back time for us all.

Memories, our memories will keep them alive in our hearts and minds.