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how long till I accept and cope my brother is gone?

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Teresa Swope, Feb 10, 2018.

  1. Teresa Swope

    Teresa Swope Member

    Its been 3 weeks since my brother died in a horrible car accident. I am not really coping and dont think i have fully accepted he is gone. How long is it going to take for me to really accept and cope with this? Never got to say goodbye. I have flasbacks from the accident, the accident involved a dump truck so seeing a dump truck upsets me and i have to drive by that accident site just to get to town. All of this is making me physically sick.
     
  2. Aila

    Aila New Member

    Hi Teresa, when we lose someone suddenly it's a huge shock and it can take a long time to learn how to adapt to their absence. I'm so sorry you weren't able to say goodbye, but I'm sure he was keenly aware of how much you loved him. I lost my brother too about 6 months ago after he suffered a heart attack. I didn't say goodbye either, but felt like we had a lifetime together of just understanding each other without speaking, and that continued to the very end. Siblings know each other like the backs of our own hands, so he knew what was in your heart, I promise. Be gentle with yourself, and treat sorrow as your constant companion--pay attention to it and don't push it aside. Let yourself cry, or rage, or whatever you need to do. Did you know tears have natural pain killing properties? Every time I feel the urge to cry, I stop what I"m doing, find a quiet place, and just let it out. Even at work I find a bathroom or my car or something. The more you lean into your emotions, the sooner the healing can begin. courage!
     
  3. Raylynn

    Raylynn New Member

    Good question, my younger brother committed suicide January 2nd, 2018. I think I am stuck in shock and disbelief. I am busy during the day, but at the end of the day, I can't get the picture out of my mind, how he killed himself. When will this stop?
     
  4. Teresa Swope

    Teresa Swope Member

    I cant get the images of how my brother looked or his car crumpled up under thr dump truck out of my head. Everytime I seea dump truck it makes me cry. I am so sorry about your brother
     
  5. Teresa Swope

    Teresa Swope Member

    I am learning to to let myself grieve. Also trying to stay strong for my mom. Hss not even been 10 years since my Dad died.
     
  6. Raylynn

    Raylynn New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss! My brother died Jan 2nd, 2018, my aunt died Jan 17th, 2018. And my mother died Jan 24th. 2018. I sometimes feel like I am to swimming in grief.
     
  7. Teresa Swope

    Teresa Swope Member

    Raylnn I am so sorry about all your losses. I cant even imagine how hard it must be for you.