How do we know when it's ok to see a new woman?

She may be or not be, too soon to tell. Friendships are a good place to start, and I think it's important that we do get into the story. If anything as a friend, and if it's to go further they have to understand what goes into the deal. We're likely to feel something on birthdays and anniversaries, etc. I don't like the idea of being alone either, but I think it's important to be able to and to get our bearings as to who we are. Because we've changed, being with our spouses we've become a bit of them, and we've aged, I'm certainly not that 21 year old my husband met, he changed me, his illness and passing changed me too. Have to get to know who I am.

Movie night, oh boy. Okay I guess, we picked up a pizza and brought it back. Flipped on the TV and started to watch some comedies on Netflix. Talked for a bit then he fell asleep on the couch. Maybe I'm not riveting company? It's weird, he's someone I've known for a while now, casual friend. So he does know the story and is understanding, but hasn't had this type of loss. He's divorced which is a loss in it's own right, but not this type of loss. So at times I think I seem unstable to him, probably because I am. I think maybe when it comes to dating perhaps a widower?

 

I get that. widows and widowers are really the only people that understand. I found that so aggravating in the beginning but have become used to it now. Your story was funny. Made me laugh a little and that's not easy to do. Not being able to act like I did before Peg and be single makes sense too. Couldn't do it and don't want to anyway. That was 25 years ago. When Peg died she took part of me with her. I can never be that guy again. The man I was with/for Peg. I'm ok with that tho because I've been reading self-help/heal your life books and I know I'm going to be a better person in my "new identity". Not so angry, arrogant, judgmental, mean. More with the flow of love and kindness. Stop trying to control things I don't need to. Just live and let live. See where that takes me! It was nice talking with you today! Peace.

 

I have a new appreciation for which side people fall into hear. And like others have said on here we've all run across stupid things people say, but also realize that they're trying. I think it's going to be the same for those of us that step out into the dating world. Sometimes I think that I won't bother that it would be easier, and it would be, but also lonely. Just going to let things unfold.

Years ago when I started a new job, I asked the girl training me why she was leaving and what I should look out for. She answered with i"m not going to say, you're a different person and will interact with people in a new way. It was good advice, we're going to be different and they'll be different too. Overall I'm looking at values, respect, and that someone who will put me first, as I do the same. Tall order. Like you this one isn't what I thought and that's okay, not sure I'm ready for that.

When I met my husband I wasn't looking for anyone, neither was he, we stumbled into each other and it was wonderful. Just too short of a story, I wake up every morning thinking, "you should be here with me."

Have a good holiday this is to all on here.