WendyB, You are right! I still cry every day, but the gut wrenching empty hole seems to gradually getting a little smaller and less overwhelming. I have been going to church every week. This past Sunday was 5 weeks since Lisa's passing. It seems like so long ago. But I can see progress. I was able to talk about her, her life and her death in Sunday School Class. I didn't fall apart, at least not until they started praying for me. I decided Monday to do something I have wanted to do for 30 years, I signed up for a Scuba Certification Course and will go for an Open Water Dive to complete the process sometime in May. I know she would be happy for me. She always said I worked too much, and I should take some time for myself. So I did, and I will, and I pray I can live my life in such a way as to make her proud of me. Hang in there LinF. You have lots of supportive people who really do get it, because they loved their spouses with all they were. But we have to find a way to go on.