How do I move on

3 1/2 yrs we fought the cancer and my love was deep, I find myself lost and angry and find the little things are the hardest.
Will it end.

 

Missil,

I see you like gardening and writing. Similiar with long caretaking of cancer. Same with the symptoms you listed. Will it end? Gradually it will be a little better. I had some anger at some specific things that happened. I would say nerves on edge and zero tolerance. That was the stress of caretaking and all the trama of loss. Focus and motivation have been difficult. Really imposable at the start. I did use the Hospice provided counseling. I walk a lot to get a sweat going.

Your welcome to chat. Sorry for your loss.

Paul M.

 

My dad passed away in September and it very difficult but I am trying to do things in his honor for example my dad was in the military I give money to the vets home and I also bought coats for the homeless vets in my dad's health nor

 

Collyoko,

I think that is great you are honoring your dad. That is what we do. Keeping our connection to our person. Kay had tons of never-worn clothes that were donated to a woman's shelter. Women who are beginning their lives over. Each thing I donated with exactly your intent. How would Kay feel and that she would approve of how I handled her belonging. That went to a place to help others. Your donations are likely what your dad would have wanted. You are doing the best to stay connected but also show how great your dad was in life.

They made an impact in this life and we can not help to honor that. Good job of honoring.
Not easy losing but commendable how you are keeping his quality alive.

Paul M.

 

How do you get this horrid grief, friends? It's been two weeks for me since my Ronnie passed and the simplest of tasks are insurmountable. I can barely feed the cat. Sleep is the only respite and even that is hauntingly fragmented and nightmarish. Somedays I lose the will to live.

Please. Any advice would be so appreciated.

 

Hello this christmas is difficult my dad passed Sep 18 2020

 

Magic +Maggie and Collvko,

First sorry for your losses. I am still in the woods but remember those early months, days, or weeks. I am still overwhelmed by the power and severity of how we are. When Kay passed I think two weeks to even shower. A month or two to go to the grocery. About a year until I remembered to have my wallet with me and not have to go back to pick it up. Very fragmented for a long time. We really think it will last forever. I went to our local library and had to park a few blocks away. That was two hours finding my car.

Somethings we just have to get done. Like paying bills. Take the trash out. Somehow we endure. Enough comes along to help manage and cope. Either by chance or our self-effort. I have a sister who lost her partner. Writing to other people with grief. Long walks. A few easy friends. I think slow gradual healing.

Tuff time for you both. I know not pleasant.

Paul M.

 

Hello I am sorry for your loss I have had a great support with this group and family -but I find some people tell me to just get over it that sad

 

Collvko,

It was weird when my wife was well into cancer and we went to the park. A couple of gay women visited with us for a while. The one had lost her partner maybe four years prior. I am listening to her not knowing what to say. At the same time knowing my wife is dying. I will just say I know a lot more now from personal experience. The just get over it may happen for some but people really don't get it and may never get it. Thankfully there are compassionate souls around. People with a good heart.

 

Hello -,very sorry about your wife I am taken comfort in my good friends and family this 1st christmas without my dad is difficult