Homesick

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Mary0128, May 10, 2018.

  1. Mary0128

    Mary0128 Member

    It's been 14 weeks since my Jeff passed. The feeling of loneliness overcomes me daily. When the snow melted, it revealed my winter damaged lawn. I felt overwhelmed, we used to work on spring clean up together. I can't bring myself to watch our shows we DVR'd, yet I can't delete them. When I leave work for the day I am anxious to get home, but when I get there it does not feel the same. I am Homesick, does that make since?
     
  2. Scoutpete

    Scoutpete Member

    Yes, you are homesick for your "real" life. My husband died 14 months ago and I still want my "real" life and am tired of having to adjust to this new one thrust upon me with no warning. I understand your pain, which does not help ease it. But it helps to know that you are not alone and that others understand.
     
    griefic and Mary0128 like this.
  3. Mary0128

    Mary0128 Member

    Saturday August 18th would of been Jeff's 60th Birthday.We always did something fun with the kids and had a BBQ. I was dreading this day until my kids helped me plan a celebration in his honor, we will also be celebrating my 2 Grandson's Birthdays that same day( their birthdays are a week apart). I know this celebration will help heal us. I know Jeff wants us to live our lives make memories and be Happy, which has been hard for me, I seem to get stuck in my grief. I am still Homesick but I feel this gathering will bring me and the kids some peace.
     
  4. Mary0128

    Mary0128 Member

    I was cooking myself dinner the other day. I finally feel like cooking a hot meal for myself. I was struggling to get the spaghetti sauce jar opened, I set it down and thought, I'll just have to wait until Jeff gets home to get the sauce started.
    It was a fleeting thought but it brought me to my knees in tears. It's been eight months and it still does not feel real.
     
  5. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Mary, thank you for checking in. It's amazing how the "littlest" things can be such big triggers. A person who hasn't had a loss would never understand how not being able to open a jar could be so gutting, but here...we get it. I'm glad you're here with us and I hope we can continue to be a help to you. I wish you all the best~