Holding on to so much resentment

I lost my alcoholic mother from cancer in a matter of 3 months. I’m so resentful! She took what could have been a great life from all of us. I’m having a hard time tonight. I DO MISS HER!! My feelings are so mixed. My dad is in so much pain and I hurt so much more for him then I do myself. I feel guilty for feeling resentful. I don’t know.

 

Sorry for your loss, don’t feel guilty. You will have so many emotions and thoughts, it is part of the grieving process.

 

Thank you!! I just don’t know how to move forward. Forgive her and try to focus on when things were good. I get so angry!! I feel cheated!!

 

There is no road map for the grieving process. Addiction is what took the life of my 28 year old son and I too feel cheated. Addiction was the disease he had but he was a loving, caring and wonderful person that really never wanted to hurt anyone. The intention of those addicted is not to hurt those they love, it just happens that way. It will be 8 weeks tomorrow since I lost my son and trust me I hurt and wish it could be different but I will wake up each morning and try to have a good day because that is what he would want me to do. I send sincere hugs to you, it just hurts so damn bad and sometimes knowing there are others going through loss as well helps us to not feel so alone.

 

It’s does hurt terribly!! I’m so sorry for your pain!! You expect to lose a parent at some point in your life. But to lose a child, I can’t imagine the pain you must be going through!! My sister tells me that my mom was very caring and loving when we were small... I wish I could have remembered her that way. That’s exactly what I mean about feeling cheated. I don’t remember her being that person. I just remember us all suffering from the disease of addiction and then the disease of cancer!! My sister now has the addiction bug. I’m very afraid for her. I have started in Al-Anon and hope it helps with both my grieving as well as ways to cope with my sister. I’ll pray for you to find comfort. Thanks for your reply.