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His first birthday without him

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Kriss, Dec 10, 2019.

  1. Kriss

    Kriss Well-Known Member

    how do I get thru today. I have to go to work but that’s the last thing I want to do. Anyone have any ideas on how to get thru.
     
    Kriss, Dec 10, 2019
    #1
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Kriss, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm hoping you were able to get through the day okay. Every occasion is different and in the first couple of years especially, each "special day" brings its own challenges. I often tell people that it can help to prepare to be sad. I know that sounds like odd advice, but if we think about what we need when we're having a hard time - it may help us realize that we need to prepare and surround ourselves with good people OR we need to prepare to be on our own and have all those things that bring us comfort. Self care is so important after loss, but can be especially helpful on those extra tough days.
    I'm sorry there wasn't an answer quicker - one tip - members always get a good response if they respond to an existing thread. I hope you continue to reach out here for support, it's a really wonderful community of grievers.
    I'm glad you've found us and I hope we can be a help to you~
     
    griefic, Dec 13, 2019
    #2
  3. Kriss

    Kriss Well-Known Member

    I managed to get thru the day with help from friends and a grief group still real hard. Don’t think I stopped crying all day. Which brings me to my next problem. Why for no specific reason do I just start crying. Driving down the road tears start coming. Talking on the phone about laundry and I start crying. I’m crying more now than I did when he first passed away. I can’t control the tears and they come out of no where.
     
    Kriss, Dec 17, 2019
    #3
    LindaH likes this.
  4. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    I can't explain it but I think its just a normal part of grieving.

    I can remember shopping and crying.
    At first it bothered me that people stared but after a while I just didn't care what someone thought.
    Dusting or moving his pictures I would just start. Didn't even have to be a picture of him....might have been one he took.. The crying use to come in waves. After awhile I just tried to ride out the wave.
    That still happens but not as often as it did.

    I think in the beginning we cry less since we are just so numb and in denial that they are gone.
    Numbness wears off and reality sets in. Special days are the hardest.
     
    LindaH, Dec 20, 2019
    #4