I'm new to this site & so far think I've finally found a place I can be open about my grieving the loss of my loved one to suicide. It's been 7yrs for me that I've been in the worst emotional hell of my entire life. To this day, I still cry everyday. Sometimes I cry many times a day. If I hear his name or see a firetruck (he was a firefighter) it makes me break out in tears more times then not. How long will I feel like this? I dunno how much more I can take.
I'm so glad that you feel comfortable sharing here - that's what this site is all about. There's no timeline for grieving, but I imagine the feeling of having unresolved or unfinished business with the love you've lost makes it challenging to move forward. Some people have told me that writing letters to one they've lost - telling them what they would have wanted to say - can be very cathartic and help toward healing. It's worth a try. In the meanwhile I hope you are able to find support and people to connect with. I truly wish you all the best...
I see that this message was from a while back. I am new here and just looking for anything to relate to. My husband shot himself on April 5. It still feels unreal. I found him. I have replayed that moment so many times and have imagined the minutes leading up to it so often that now it seems as though I was there watching him carry the gun to the side of the house and climb into the car with it. I wonder if he uttered any words or if he was crying. It is soul crushing. I pray that I will be able to one day think of our happy times instead of this horrible scene. I see that you continue suffering after several years. I hope the same peace for you that I do for myself. We have been forever changed by this loss. I find myself wishing his death was “just a heart attack”.
