Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Karen Fontes, Jun 24, 2018.

  1. Karen Fontes

    Karen Fontes New Member

    I don’t know what to do ? I’m so lonely and scared. I really have no one to talk to .
    Chris042116 and Terri Lea like this.
  2. Martha

    Martha Member

    I can understand I have no one either I did have my corgi but I've had to put him down and now I can barely function
  3. Karen Fontes

    Karen Fontes New Member

    I lost my Husband in May and our Dog Rollie, a Bassett died a week later . A friend told me about this site . Sorry about your pup too.
  4. Martha

    Martha Member

    Thank you for that, yes putting him down was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I held his face in my hands while the vet did his thing and I looked at Benny the whole 3 seconds saying it's ok over and over I'll never forget the bright look in his eyes then the light went out. Yesterday all I did was cry and felt the pain so deep and horrible, I felt as though I had killed him, and I kept thinking if I could only have had him a little longer I could've spoiled him with his favorite treats, it's utterly unbearable what your mind goes through when you have to make a decision like this. I never was close to my family so this has been the first real pain I have ever felt and it just makes me want to die ....
  5. Karen Fontes

    Karen Fontes New Member

    I know , I have my 3 dogs and Husbands ashes now . My whole family is gone too .☹️But God has his purpose for us all . I like you are lost. No one or anything can replace them but we can always look in our Heart and feel them every second of every day , which will never go away .❤️
  6. Martha

    Martha Member

    Thank you for words of comfort they help. I have also found that this has changed me made me more reflective and humble. I wish I knew for sure Benny is with God and I will see him one day, god please give me a sign, or Benny give me a little bark..he was a talker!. People tell me that the memories makes the pain worthwhile I don't get that it hurts too much right now
  7. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    While I don't know what you're going through, I understand about losing someone and feeling you have no one to talk to. You may wish to look for grief support groups or grief counseling near you. Some are associated with local churches, but others are non-religious. Many are also low cost or free.
  8. I think talking to people who are going through the same experience helps. I wish you had people to talk to. Isn't there anyone where you are who has recently lost someone you can have coffee with? I don't think it's possible to have too much support.
  9. Francine Montagnolo

    Francine Montagnolo New Member

    i wish i had some a magic for all of us.
    i have been afraid of loss my whole life, but i don't think it kept me from functioning or loving. but over the past ten years my world has gotten smaller and smaller. i was with a man i thought i would spend my life with and he left. then he came back, moved in, then left again. 5 months later my first kitty passed, i have yet to recover. then i thought the love of my life showed up. he said he loved me, took a bunch of my money and disappeared. at the same time my brother, the person who i loved most in the world, stopped talking to me because of his wife (long story). he promised to go to therapy but backed out. then my second kitty dies. then my mother flooded my house, then my third kitty died. she was 22 and couldn't take the stress. my health has continued to deteriorate, my weight has increased to the point where i can't have fun with fashion any more and my parents, particularly my father is failing. my parents are 85 and 86.my brother doesn't talk to them either. my father can not do anything without me. the pressure is immense. the person that took my money is back but but only superficially. there is nothing ahead but loss and i am undone. some days are better some worse, but there is no relief.
    i truly do not know how to move forward. my health keeps me house bound in some ways so making friends doesn't happen. whatever help i have, i have to pay for and i am grateful that i can afford it.
    how can i make it not matter that everything ends and everyone leaves? there is something about me that pushes people away,there has to be.

    i know that joy and connection are the answers but joy can me hard to come by especially when you are alone and your body hurts and connections are dangerous.

    thank to whoever reads this
    i hope you find solice
  10. Debs

    Debs Member

    Hi Francine... you are dealing with a lot and I'm sorry. Can you get out of the house to walk? I find that exercise helps. I usually love the gym, but think I'm in the midst if an emotionsl setback with my daughter leaving for college and me missing my love. I feel like there is a physical part of my body missing. I have friends and socialuze a lot, but I no longer have that one person in my life that underdtood me, my comfort zone, the person who listened and heard. I am going to get up early and get to the gym snd get out of this hole.

    You sound like a very generous person... is it possible people take advantage of your kindness? When appropriate, i find it very liberating to say no.....
  11. SPK

    SPK New Member

    Francine, what city are you in?
  12. Theresevaughn

    Theresevaughn Member

    Oh losing a furred child along with a human loved one feels utterly cruel. We had to put our cat to sleep right before my mom passed away. That light leaving their eyes leaves us in so much darkness. I’m so sorry...
    Brian'sMomma likes this.
  13. Terri Lea

    Terri Lea Member

    I am sorry you feel so alone. I have a huge support group, my children are wonderful, my Bible study group, my sisters and I still feel completely alone in this, as well. I don't think there really is anything that anyone truly can do for us. I think we have to learn to live without them. I don't know how to do that right now. I just put one foot in front of the other every day. I feel empty inside, almost numb most of the time. I feel isolated and alone in a room full of loved ones. I think we all have to figure this out ourselves, while connecting to others that understand us. I am hoping this resource will help me do that. I will pray for you. My strength is in my trust in Jesus. Without him, I don't know what I would do.

    I am so sorry for your loss. This kind of loss changes us. I don't think we will ever get over losing our loved ones. I think we learn, at some point, how to move forward in spite of this great loss.

    You are not alone. Everyone here feels a loss. We all care. May God hold you and comfort you, today.
    Brian'sMomma likes this.