Heart brokento be feeling this way

I lost the love of my life on February the 9 th 2018. I feel great part of me is gone also. We were married 45 years and he was my best friend. I’m not sure how to go on without him. Everyday is a heartache for myself. I am blessed to have our 5 grown children and 10 grandchildren. It’s just not the same happy times without him. We all miss him. My husband went to sleep one night and never woke up the next morning. He had a heart attack in his sleep. So much I wish I could have changed. I wish I could have heard him so I could have helped him. I wonder was he already gone when I got up that morning or did he pass when I was in my living room and couldn’t hear him. I just wish I knew. I know it want change anything but maybe it will help. I’m so tired of hurting all the time. I don’t know if this is normal to be feeling this way.

 

Sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my mother suddenly in May. She complained of being tired and went to bed early. When I went up the next morning to bring my father his medication, I found my mother on the bedroom floor.

Like you, I wonder if I could have done something if I had heard her. I think the “what if’s” are very common at times like this. While it’s human nature to wonder such things, it often serves no practical purpose.

Logically, I know that it was better for her to go quickly instead of spending years suffering. I think a sudden passing is harder on those left behind though - as we aren’t prepared for it.

I am no expert, but I don’t think there is any “normal” when it comes to grieving. Everyone does so in their own way and in their own time.

 

I’m sorry about your mom. I know how hard that is for you and your family. It’s hard dealing with losing love ones.