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Grieving in uncertain times

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Comet920, Apr 6, 2020.

  1. Comet920

    Comet920 New Member

    I lost my partner on January, 17. He was a 35 year old diabetic but was pretty stable. He called me that morning in such a great mood and making plans to go to the movies. He later sent me a talking emoji saying he truly loves me and just wanted to thank you for being me. He was supposed to pick me up from work and never showed up. I went home to find him laying on the bedroom floor dead for what seemed like a few hours already. Our two dogs were laying beside him.

    This sudden passing left me completely in shock and beyond heart broken. Before him I had been married for 10 years when that marriage had ended suddenly due to my husband having severe depression and anxiety which turned violent. I was broken and one of the hardest things I had to deal with in life until I found my partner. I thought wow I have a second chance of happiness and now that chance is gone.

    After his passing (2 weeks before my birthday) I find out through family and friends that he had been planning a dinner for me and was getting ready to propose which filled my heart with sorrow which turned into anger. I just couldn’t understand why this was happening.

    I was grieving normally and keeping myself distracted with work and friends but now with everything that’s going on I don’t work anymore, and we are unable to go out and connect with others and just feel so lost and alone. I can’t stop crying I can’t stop thinking and can’t stop being angry.

    If anyone has any suggestions to find even just a little relief I would be super grateful.

    Much love to everyone
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Comet920,

    I am very sorry for your loss. What an awful way to find him on the floor. One thing I have seen in life is how animals will stay with the ones they care and love no matter what, even after death. It is heartbreaking.

    This isolation we all face is overpowering. When we need to vent and find ways to grieve the one we lost, being shut in is depressing.

    I have seen how others around the world are connecting just outside their house, on a porch, a balcony, in their yard. It is so refreshing to see how some people are coming together for the welfare of others. Artists who are singers will sing for everyone. Musicians will play songs for others, and even though we are full of sorrow, this gathering is heartwarming.

    Times like this take all of us. Our psyche needs to refresh to keep us grounded and not lost.

    Dealing with loss is oppressive, to our mind, to our well being. This sorrow that tries to consume us takes time to overcome. You need to connect with those you can. You need to open up with who you feel safe with, and what you are comfortable talking about. Lastly, please don’t ever give into grief.

    I hope you will take time to reach out to family if possible. Take care and be safe. We are here and will listen. Don’t be concerned with what you say. I hope you will find some peaceful rest tonight and the days forward.

    -david

    I offer this melody for you