just googling around irresponsibility, and thought; Oh, I wonder what happened? What an idiot I feel. Why couldn’t I have left that memory alone. I feel so let down because I am angry at him for not out surviving me. We are both dumb sh@ts. Why didn’t we tough it out together. Who the hell dies at 65 years old? Both his children are Doctors. Why did they bury him at that lonely damn place? I’m so mad. Nothing can change this. It’s just me, and it’s just right now - I now, but it’s starting to hurt worse. Why am I so mad?
I get it. And it's okay to be mad. You should be mad. Your whole life has changed and you had no control over it and no say. It's okay to be mad.
Yep, being mad has been very easy for me since I lost my husband in October. I’m just now getting to feeling sad. My family has really seen the ugly mad side of me. I agree about the control thing, stuff that’s out of my control is the worst. The closest thing is all the regrets I have. My anger I think was protecting me from sadness, bc I cannot function when I’m sad. This week I’m sooo sad. And I don’t like it.
