Finding out bad news after a loss

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Lindaloo, May 22, 2020.

  1. Lindaloo

    Lindaloo Member

    The love of my life passed away less than 5 weeks ago. Prior to being diagnosed with cancer, we had been on and off for about 7 months because he had to move. We had been together 5 and a half years prior to that. When he got sick, I started taking care of him and he passed away 7 months later. I found out yesterday that during that period where we were on and off, he had dated someone for about 3 months. She turned out to be nice enough to answer my questions, saying it wasn’t that serious but that she had been there when the doctor first diagnosed him and that at that point they were devastated and said I love you to each other.
    I am devastated by this news and wonder if any of it was real. She told me that he ended it and cut things off with her (around the time that I came back full time into his life). But I do know now that he had texted her a couple of times after that and saw her at least one more time.
    Am I foolish for thinking that he loved me?
     
  2. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss.
    I’m no expert on relationships except for the many experiences I’ve encountered over a very long life. The love of my life didn’t enter my world until I was almost 60 years old and had Already been married and divorced 4 times. She said that if we were serious we had to be married. I agreed and we wed. Best thing that ever happened to me. 25 years later she died of brain cancer as I held her hand.
    I think that you will know in your heart if he loved you. Put your suspicions to rest and love him in death the way you loved each other in life. Real love will always show through.
    God Bless You and grant you peace.
    Bill
     
  3. Lindaloo

    Lindaloo Member

    Hi Bill,
    Thank you so much for your extremely kind words. I am trying to find peace in the love we shared but struggling with that. One day at a time, I suppose. I’m so happy that you found love and were able to enjoy it for as long as you did.
     
  4. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member


    When Janet entered my life I had no idea of the impact that she would have on my very existence. She not only became the Love of my life, but also my best friend, my confidant, and my mentor. I never make a decision without consulting with her first. (Yes, I think she can hear me) She is the source of my inspiration and I believe that I will be with her again.
    My advice to you is to start, and end
    with Love.

    Bill
     
  5. Lindaloo

    Lindaloo Member

    Thank you. Your words have brought me so much peace and as I look within me, I know that he truly did love me and I am focused on thinking of that.
     
  6. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

    Hi Lindaloo
    I’m so happy that you are gaining some peace. And I am humbled by the thought that I may have helped. I think that we are placed on earth to learn and to seek love. I have come to realize that Janet was destined to be my mentor, and if I am open enough she is still mentoring me. (What would she want me to do or see.) In my life, she has never steered me wrong. It sounds to me that you are ready to absorb, and apply any lessons this experience might present for you. Just quietly listen and welcome what you see and hear.
    God Bless You.
    Bill