Feeling so alone

It’s the 4th of July, a day that families celebrate. For me, I sit alone without my husband who I lost back in October 2024 - seven months. We always made today special - go to the movies, watch fireworks, be with friends. All of these ‘firsts’ without him send me into a deep depression. Life feels meaningless without Mike. Thirty two amazing years together. He is/was everything to me, especially my best friend and rock.

Next Monday, July 7, would be his 77th birthday. I dread the day alone. I sit on the sofa for days and just stare at nothing. I have no idea how I’ll cope this day.

We do have a wonderful daughter who lives 18 hours away so distance prevents us from being together.

I don’t live close to family. Some of the support I had early on when Mike passed I no longer have. Friends and family quickly move on with their lives.

Please share what you did on your spouse’s birthday when he/she’s is no longer alive? Thanks

 

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Yes, a loss of someone you are so close to is a very devastating feeling.
I am glad to hear that you have a wonderful daughter. That is something for which I am sure you are very grateful for.
All of these anniversary dates are very difficult because they bring up so many memories.
If you have an understanding friend maybe you could make plans to go out to lunch on Monday. It would get you out of the house with someone who cares about you and maybe could ease the pain just a little. There really is no magic solution to go on except, in my opinion, God. He is a stable rock when everything else has fallen apart. I hope you have a relationship with Jesus and can talk to Him about all your pain and loss of meaning. He understands. He suffered himself greatly for us when He was here and can be a source of support and strength if you reach out to Him. He was my only lifeline when it seemed impossible to go on even just one day. He rescued me and He can do the same for you.
Stay in touch with us here. Everyone here cares and is so supportive because they understand the depth of the pain you are going through.
Chris

 

I am sorry about your loss and empathize. I myself feel very alone. I come from India. We had a toxic family dynamic due to my parents being more concerned about their siblings at our cost, two brothers. so, I am very close to him, and he is living in India. We are both in demanding situations financial as well as emotionally and rely on each other, but it is never enough. Everyone, the relatives, the siblings our parents gave their life for has deserted us. While we can talk, we both feel very alone. I as the older one also feel like I have more responsibility, and I try to take care of him even at my own expense. the love is so strong, and I keep wondering how long can we keep going in this cruel selfish world. sometimes even the futility of it all. I listen to spiritual gurus like Sadh guru and Eckhart Tolle and try to keep the voice in my head quiet but the fear of losing my brother and losing myself is sometimes crippling. would appreciate some insights from the group.

 

I am sorry for your loss. It must be very difficult to be separated so far from your brother, so I can
understand your feelings of lonliness and desperation at the thought of losing your brother.
Jesus Christ says he is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. If you reach out to Him, He will be your constant companion with whom you can share all of your feelings, both good and bad, because he knows what suffering is all about. He was forsaken by His closest friends in His greatest hour of need. He came to give his life so that we could repent, have our sins forgiven, and come back into communion with God. He loves you so much and cares about your hurting. Please try to be open minded and read some of the scriptures in the Bible. The book of John will comfort your heart and you will know that there is a personal God who knows you and cares about you.
We care about you too. We know how heavy a heart can be because we all have suffered a deep personal loss.
Please continue sharing your feelings here as you feel led. Sometimes just telling our story of what has happened to us can help us begin to sort it all out. No one else had the answers for me or needed to have the answers for me. As they listened, God would give me an answer in my heart. Jesus is the only one who could have rescued me when our son commited suicide. I didn't think it was possible to go on even one day, but I kept waiting for God to help me, and He did.
He can help you also in your hour of affliction. He will carry you and help you if you ask him to.
Sending you love,
Chris