My 89 year old mom passed away suddenly 2 months ago and I am struggling. I was her caregiver for 13 years and loved having her live with me. Sometimes my grief is overwhelming.
I also feel rudderless- I lost my 91 year old mother last week. I was taking care of her full time the past four years.
Rudderless is a great description. We depended on these loved ones to point us in the directions we needed to go . We all have to continue on, knowing what they would want us to do. I continue to struggle after 4 1/2 years. It waxes and wanes and sometimes I am on target and sometimes I eel like a blithering idiot and don't care . The best I can hope for is some stability sometime. I thought I might be ready for adult male companionship, but i was wrong. The conversations were forced as was the interest and and it is just not for me at this time. My prayers go out to you,
