My dad died almost a year and a half ago after almost 8 years of fighting cancer. I wasn't there when he passed and I feel guilty. I live about 6 hours away with my husband and 2 daughters and finances made it difficult to visit near his death. About a week before his passing I was able to Skype with him as he had said he wanted to see me. It was the last time I saw/talked to him. The guilt of not being there is overwhelming at times. Does it get any easier/better?
Sorry to hear about your father. It sounds like you did what you could given your circumstances. Most everyone wonders if they could have done more. I think that's just being human. I hope you find this site helpful.
I too feel guilty. I just lost my mom in early September. She died suddenly while in rehab. I hadn't seen her in the 2 days before she died because I was too pre occupied with a new relationship. That relationship is over but with that and the overwhelming grief I feel seems to have overtaken my life.
I had put my mom in a respite as I have been her caregiver for over a year. It was nine days until she was going to come home. The "what if's" are always there. What if I hadn't gone away, what if I had come home early, what if I didn't tell the hospital she was a DNR, what if I told them to be aggressive. My mom was 95 and she was the closest person in the world to me. I was at least able to be with her the day before she died and after she lost consciousness and she past. Still, she wanted me to stay and in between I went home to sleep but about two hours after I got home I got a call saying she wouldn't make it through the night. Why didn't I stay?
