It will be two weeks tomorrow that I lost the love of my life. I was in such shock, still am, but I'm finding my family has pulled back from me already. They were there to help me through the rough first part (dealing with arrangements, meetings, etc) but after that, I wasn't up to being social and being around my grandkids daily. Some short backstory-this was my second marriage, I divorced the father of my 4 kids back in 2007, and with a lot of good reasons after 30+ years of marriage. He remarried before the ink was dry on the paperwork. Both of us had new significant others after he finally moved out, he with the woman he was seeing when we were still in the same house, and me a man I met almost a year after my husband was gone, the wonderful guy who would ask me to marry him. For some reason, my kids would not accept him. I had a 17 yr old still living with me who was so unhappy she moved in with an older sister. They did not want to meet him or get to know him. My oldest insisted I had no right to be dating if I was still legally married, even though her father had completely moved on. The double standard confused me, and Gary as well. He didn't want to 'replace' their dad, he had kids of his own. His kids accepted me and there was never one issue with my being in his life. He just wanted to be a part of my family, as he had a right to expect. Fast forward 7 years. If I had expected time and a legal marriage to change attitudes, I was mistaken. My oldest in particular said some terrible, hurtful things, and continued to be rude whenever we would attend family functions. The other three seemed neutral, but even that was hurtful. I dreaded holidays, birthday parties, all of it, because I didn't want him to get his feelings hurt. I gave up hoping anything would change. So now he's had to leave me, and at first everyone was attentive. But I can't forget that they could not do for me what they did for their dad, what I would do for them when they brought a special someone home-unconditional acceptance. I didn't want to spend time with people who made his life unhappy when he deserved so much more. So even the text check ins have stopped. I'm still not ready to 'socialize' but a 5 second text "are you doing okay today?" from one or more of them would mean a lot right now. Am I just looking for things to be angry about because I'm so broken? I can forgive them, but I can't forget. It would have meant the world to he and I to be accepted by my kids....
Wow that's a lot going on. No it wouldn't hurt one of them to text and see how you are. You found your love and now u have to make it on your own. Think it's normal to be angry I know I was/am and it's 6 months since my hubby died. Be kind to yourself and if u can gt out for a walk do so. There is no quick fix unfortunately. Take care
