Did this really happen

I lost my husband on September 3rd after an 18 month battle with lung cancer and over the years I’ve heard people say because their family member was sick and they knew it was coming it prepared them and of course we knew it was coming but when I looked over at him that morning and knew was gone nothing really prepares you ~ my major first already took place on September 29th our 30th Anniversary I met him when I was 18 he was my whole life most days I just can’t believe this really happened but after reading some of these posts I know I’m not alone

 

I am sorry for your loss. The pain and grief are overwhelming. It’s so difficult when you have been together for so long and you find yourself alone. In shock. We are here for you. Prayers for you and your family.

 

Thank you Kathleen I appreciate you reaching out and that’s what it is I’m still in a state of shock that he really is gone ~ he suffered for so long and knowing he’s out of pain helps to ease my suffering but it’s so damn hard

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. You’re right, nothing can prepare you for this. The pain is agonizing. You’re definitely not alone. All the disbelief, can’t think think, eat or sleep, sadly it’s all very normal. The most important person in your life isn’t by your side any more, you’re in shock. It’s only been 4 weeks and I’m sure it feels like a life time. Accept any help offered, have people come over for a cup of coffee and just be with you. The company, shoulder to cry on is so helpful. Don’t push yourself to do things, most things can wait. If you have things you want to do make a list, that helps so much.
I lost my husband to a sudden and massive heart attack. Taken from our beautiful life together in 2 hours. He was/is my everything.
Take care of you and visit this site often, read and share stories. It’s very helpful.
❤️

 

Thank you for the kind words. I am very Blessed to have a strong support system around me including my (3) wonderful sons, my parents, inlaws, siblings and loving friends. Right now I am taking this one day at a time, it's all anyone can really do. I am sorry for your loss as well, and as you said, he was/is your everything, it's the same for me. I find myself reaching for the phone to call him, I have to catch myself. I will continue to visit this site, the stories do help. Thank you again for reaching out.

 

FOREVER IN MY HEART

 

Truly am sorry for your loss ,it pains me to hear so many others are going through this and you wonder why me ,why me and others like yourself have to walk through the fire.Also that beast cancer ,some other names i like to call it ,its what took my wife of 37 yrs at age 59 after a 2 1/2 yr battle after being 13 months cancer free it was esophagal cancer.Its been 8 months truly seems like yesterday ,the emotions are still strong, this grieving is hard work,as you know by now,its the price we pay for love.Am glad you have that support it will be a tremendous help to you .Please guard your heart and be good to yourself ,when my wife was going through her chemo the 2nd time around i put in bold letters on the kitchen wall ''WARRIOR" along with Isiah 40:29 for strength and courage ,its still there but now for me and for you also for this is a battle that none of us wanted.Also beautiful wedding picture take care of yourself.

 

I’m so happy for you that you have good support. That is so helpful as you know. One day one hour or just one moment at a time is definitely the best plan. Life becomes so hard, and our minds can’t think clear so we need to be cautious.
Thank you for your kinds as well. It’s the most pain any of us have ever endured, and how are we supposed to move on, live on without our perfect love.
We take baby steps and use the support of our family and friends and continue to love and honor our loved ones.

 

Thank you for your post and my sincere condolences to you as well and as you said cancer is such a beast I truly hope one day a cure is found for all cancers for no one should endure this horrific disease ~ our spouses were taken so young that’s why I find myself asking did this really happen. Your situation is very similar to mine, my husband had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 1996 and was cancer free all these years I really thought it was a thing of the past and when he was diagnosed I too put notes all around my kitchen prayer notes, notes about staying strong and keeping the faith. My husband was a very spiritual person he taught our boys so much about God and our religion, he wasn’t afraid to die. His dear mother died suddenly seven days before he did no warning no sickness just stood up headed towards the kitchen and fell down the minute she hit the floor she was gone I believe in my heart it was the stress of seeing him so ill and knowing it was any time for him and she couldn’t bear it, all she wanted was to die before him I do believe God spared her and they are together. Thank you again for your post and for your sweet compliment about our picture take care.

 

I am sorry for your loss. My wife died from anal melanoma, a rare and very aggressive form of cancer. I was always positive and thinking she was going to be the one to beat this ( she was positive too) until her last hospital visit when the dr told us very matter of fact lay “ we got the results from your scan, the cancer has spread all over, there are no more treatments, you have weeks ( she died less than 2 weeks after that) there are 2 choices stay in hospital and when symptoms happen we will treat them, this won’t save you but just may buy you a little extra time, or you can go home and be in hospice care where you will die quicker, they will let the cancer take over, but they will keep you comfortable, let us know your decision in a little while”. No, knowing she was sick didn’t make it any easier at all. I told her it was her decision and I would back her up 100% whatever her choice was. She wanted to be home.

 

Above fact lay is a spellcheck error. Should read matter of factly

 

I appreciate your post and I send you my sincere condolences. I share in your grief. I’ve heard people in the past whose family member was suffering say it helps ease the pain knowing they’re no longer suffering and for me it truly does, of course, I would want nothing more than to have him with me and by my side but those last few days watching him gasp for breath is something I hope I never have to witness again so I truly do take comfort in knowing the pain is over. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

Thank you for sharing your words and I’m sorry for your loss as well ~ My husband was also my best friend I suppose it’s because we met when we were so young we practically grew up together. The nights are the hardest for me which is why I’m so grateful for my job because during the day it helps to keep busy. The loss is so overwhelming at night I just can’t believe he’s not here but I pray in time the pain will ease up and I can hold on tight to my memories ~ cancer can’t take them away. Appreciate your post.

 

Hello
I'm new to this site but your post was the first i read and I can sadly relate to you saying "your husband was your whole life and you had been with him since you were 18." First of all allow me to express how sorry I am for your loss.
On Aug 31 2020 I lost my husband of 20 years and he as well was my life and I truly feel lost because I also spent my whole adult life with one person. My husband Al was in a scheduled surgery for a small bowel obstruction and I'm still very unclear on what happened in that operating room but he came out of surgery on life support. The hardest part of this for me has been that the doctors aren't really telling me much anything other than when he was in surgery , and there was an infection in his Gastrointestinal that put his body into shock and very quickly all major organs began shutting down. I feel like i can't get to a point of acceptance because I'm so damn mad about the loss and I feel like he was taken from me. Seriously why didn't they know about an infection? I really just wanted to let you know that I understand what your feeling and what your going through and can totally relate. Some days I feel like I'm trapped putting a puzzle together and really im just trying to process everything and also create a sequence or a timeline as to how my life got to this point. I know my husband would not want me falling apart in the ways that I have been but i have never experienced a loss of this magnitude. Sending Peace. prayers and Love your way as you go through life's journey. Rebecca

 

Dear Rebecca I am so terribly sorry for your loss and how it all happened I can’t imagine going into surgery one minute and then coming out on life-support I’m sure you must still be in shock and I do hope you get the answers you so desperately deserve and I will continue to pray for you and your family the loss we are feeling is so hard to put in words unless you truly have experienced it I myself am new to this site and reading posts from other people does help because we’re not alone. I am very blessed to have my three wonderful sons a loving
family and friends who are always there for me stay close to your family and friends because for me it truly does help again my sincere condolences

 

Sorry for your loss. Your anger is understandable. It sounds like you have never gotten answers regarding your wife's disorder.

 

So sorry for the loss of your wife. YES, anger is part of grieving. A student doc found a "pea" under my husbands tongue 2 and 1/2 years before his last diagnosis...the expert blew it off as nothing. My husband kept telling them about the pain in his tongue at every check-up (3-6 months apart) for the whole 2 and 1/2 years. Never once did the specialist feel around in his mouth! Finally when he was having trouble swallowing they checked and found a tumor that was bigger than a golf ball, spread to lymph nodes. I am still, a year after my husband died so incredibly angry!!! That specialist's ego killed my Sweetie!!! He would never admit that the student did a better exam than him and it cost us everything. I go to the shore and throw rocks as far and as hard as I can...seems to relieve some of the pent up emotion. Better than blowing up at friends or family for sure. Take care.