Dealing with the aftermath

Sometimes I think about my fathers life and I cry. He was such a good man, so kind and gentle. He was dealt such an awful hand in life. His mother beat him, my mother emotionally abused him, he worked long hours and awful shifts and yet, he still was GOOD, pure. Always eager to help someone. Then he gets cancer, suffers for years just to die with the loss of his cognitive skills and motor movements. He deserves so much better. I had a different life pictured for him, one that he so deeply deserved. How do I move past these feelings of sorrow?

 

I lost my father to Glioblastoma (GBM), brain cancer. He experienced cognitive, motor and emotional instability. It was heart-wrenching to see someone you love become so helpless and confused. My dad was not perfect, but he didn't get what he deserved. He retired and was diagnosed within 4 months and passed 6 months after.

To coping, the wound is still fresh for me. I find getting back into a routine that I'm proud of to help. I find myself more willing to share and express how I'm feeling to friends and family. I am setting healthier boundaries and being more forgiving to myself. I can't justify a moral scale to what your father deserved. I can only suggest that you use the love you've inherited to make the best decisions for your happiness. I believe that is what your father would wanted: to build a new happier normal for yourself. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you have supports in your life that can reassure, listen and love you. Take care and be kind to yourself!