Coping after sudden sibling loss

Hi, I'm Caidyn and this is my first post on here.

At the end of April, we found out very suddenly that my sister had terminal cancer. A week to the day that she found out -- not even a week for us to know -- she passed away. During that time, I was finishing my first year of graduate school and was unable to see her. I'm about to start my next year of graduate school and can't make it to her celebration of life because of classes.

It's all starting to sink in that she's passed. We were never very close in life because we had an age difference of decades, but we always got along. I don't know. I just feel like I never really got a chance to know her and the years that I had were lost.

So, I don't know what I'm looking for. Advice? Help? A connection? I know that what I feel is normal -- my first internship for my graduate degree was hospice, so I'm familiar with all the feelings that come with loss and grief and that what I feel isn't abnormal -- but it still feels very isolating. And I don't want to be isolated.

Thanks to all who read this.

 

My older sister passed away within six months of her diagnosis of breast cancer. I have two other siblings that are almost 16 and 11 years older than myself and not close with them at all. Labor Day will be the two year anniversary. I held her as she took her last breath. Yes, grief is normal and may vary depending on the relationship. My other siblings didn't see her before she passed and were unable to attend her funeral because of a hurricane in Texas. Nothing was going to stop me from being with her but then we were very close and shared many memories. Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings with me. Maybe your memories of her. Was she a type of mother figure to you? My first time here also so hope I get notifications. thanks for sharing.