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Coping after sudden sibling loss

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Caidyn, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. Caidyn

    Caidyn New Member

    Hi, I'm Caidyn and this is my first post on here.

    At the end of April, we found out very suddenly that my sister had terminal cancer. A week to the day that she found out -- not even a week for us to know -- she passed away. During that time, I was finishing my first year of graduate school and was unable to see her. I'm about to start my next year of graduate school and can't make it to her celebration of life because of classes.

    It's all starting to sink in that she's passed. We were never very close in life because we had an age difference of decades, but we always got along. I don't know. I just feel like I never really got a chance to know her and the years that I had were lost.

    So, I don't know what I'm looking for. Advice? Help? A connection? I know that what I feel is normal -- my first internship for my graduate degree was hospice, so I'm familiar with all the feelings that come with loss and grief and that what I feel isn't abnormal -- but it still feels very isolating. And I don't want to be isolated.

    Thanks to all who read this.
     
    LindaH likes this.
  2. LindaH

    LindaH Well-Known Member

    I am sorry for your loss, Caidyn.

    I am glad you found this site.
     
  3. Jeremya92

    Jeremya92 New Member

    Hi Caidyn,

    I know the feeling. My sister passed suddenly in a single car accident 2 weeks ago. My family lives out in Utah, but I am located on the East Coast in Northern Virginia. Her and I were as close as we could be, talking and texting regularly, but for the past two years I have only seen her a handful of times. It doesn't seem real and I keep just thinking she's out fishing or busy with work. That she'll be calling soon. Losing a sibling is so hard and I can't imagine what you have felt not being able to attend her celebration of life. Most days i'm not sure what I feel now. I think about her all the time, hoping she is in a better place. Hoping that i'll see her again some day. I'm not religious anymore, so it feels even more numbing that she's gone. If you ever just need to chat/vent or whatever, send me a message.

    Best,
    Jeremy
     
  4. JSMason

    JSMason New Member

    Hey my name is Jackie and on May 30th, I lost my sister suddenly. She was struck by a vehicle while walking home and killed instantly. I had to be the one to make the identification while on the scene. There were no charges filed on the driver due to the report saying that my sister was at fault. Every since that day, I've changed. I'm numb and then overflowing with depression. I'm anger, beyond hurt and lost. I am not coping well and do know I can't do this alone. I try to talk to others but they don't share in this experience. So grateful I found this site.
     
  5. Tncatcrazie

    Tncatcrazie New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister in law who was and who I called my sister to a drunk driver who hit and killed her 2 weeks ago. We talked on and off and texted daily. I hear the notification ring and think oh she is texting me then reality hits. I am lost as well as now, and depressed. I carry myself through the day trying to keep a smile and normalcy only to be dying inside. They tell me this is all normal and let myself grieve but the pain is great. She lived with my husband and I so the memories linger. I am finding solace in the messages from her friends and how she helped so many other people. I pray that you will also. May God be with you and may you have someone to listen and give you hugs.