I lost my husband four months ago. It seems like yesterday. We were married for 40 years and were truly in love. He died during Covid so I wasn’t allowed to have a viewing or anything. They gave me and my children an half an hour to see him and then we went to the cemetery. I was just so mad at everyone and everything. Now we are having a memorial in August and I know this is going to be so hard. I can’t sleep,I’m depressed and I cry every nite. I need to make peace with god but right now I just can’t. He didn’t even have the chance to get one session of chemo. My heart breaks every night.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Covid has really put a damper on things. I lost my fiancee almost 4 months ago. Due to covid I couldnt be by his side. Nights are hard for me too. I think about him so much and lately I'm more emotional than normal. I have small kids and they are my motivation. I pray that you have strength to get through the upcoming memorial service as well as each day.
Oh, it breaks my heart to read about not being able to be with your loved ones because of this damned pandemic. I’m sooooo sorry. I simply cannot imagine the depths of grief you must be in.
My heart breaks for you. I wish I had something magical to say but all I have is I’m sorry. Just an idea but maybe buy a bench if you have a yard and have it dedicated to your husband. I find myself wanting a spot to just talk to her. Or if not your yard someplace that you two loved to go. I’m thinking once I get settled (new place) that’s what I’m going to do. I really wish I could say something to ease the pain.
And as for your anger with God. I think That is to be expected. Take your time. It’s a struggle. I hope you find peace.
