Can't seem to move on after losing my mom.

I lost my mom on Christmas Day, it will be 4 years this year. I dont know hiw to keep going. In 2014 I found out my ex husband of 26 years was cheating on me(and had repeatedly since we got together in 1988) I left him and within a month found out my mom had lung cancer. I take meds for anxiety and depression anyway and my Doc at the time really stepped up my meds. I was overmedicated and didn't realize it at the time. At the same time my 18 year old daughter was becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol. My world was falling apart but the meds kept me from feeling most of it. I could not accept rhat my mom could die and saw her very few times. Fast forward Im seeing a different doctor, I'm not overmedicated but I'm in severe emotional pain and i dont know how to deal with it anymore.
I miss her so much, I miss my old life. I struggle with finances since leaving my ex. I miss my home,my daughter being little and my mom so much. I'm devastated. I go through life everyday just wishing for the end.
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Hi Tonja - I'm not a therapist and certainly no expert, but I would guess that at least part of the reason you are feeling so much now is because you weren't able to before because of the medication. You've been through so much loss and change. I came across Heather Stang's Mindfulness and Grief ($7.50 used on amazon) and have been working through it after losing my mom at the end of August, which followed a year of severe anxiety and depression related to finances, health, relationship issues. I am also feeling overwhelmed by emotions after suppressing them for too long. It has really helped me feel less overwhelmed and I hope may help you as well.

 

Tonia,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

All that stress combined with losing your mom is hard. I've had hurdles since losing mine in August but yours sound particularly hard.

I know a few supportive friends have helped me but maybe this group will help both of us.

Take care.

 

Hi Tonia,i just wanted to let you no how sorry i am for your loss.I also lost my mom 4yrs ago the day after Christmas. So l understand exactly what your going through..Ive been put on Meds,been to support groups but nothing seems to help,i can never seem to be able to focus and i have no energy or the want to for anything anymore,but the scariest part of all is,i just dont care anymore and even when i try. Or try convince myself i do,its like i stop and tell myself,who are you kidding,why even borher...So yeah every single day i wonder if just maybe the next day will be the end..

 

Hi Tonya.
My mom died the day before my birthday 4 years ago as well. She died of pancreatic cancer. She asked my advice on what to do treatment wise. I have her my opinion but she went the other other way. I later found out that her boyfriend at the time was slipping meds into her food to make her sleep. He was also having an affair with her cousin. I then found a forged check to him. My anger runs as deep as my grief.