Buy a book to my grieving boyfriend Who love fishing?

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Pandakk, Jun 10, 2020.

  1. Pandakk

    Pandakk Member

    Hello! My boyfriend lost his father so sudden last Dec and I just found out there is a book related grieving and fishing. He is crazy about fishing. And I would like to buy one for him. Do you think it’s a good idea? Or better not? Just worry about he will get sad or worse....
     
  2. Jonathan5757

    Jonathan5757 Well-Known Member

    Why don't you ask or just give it to him, it is thoughtful and shows you care about his feelings. Your a good girlfriend IMHO.
    Jonathan Staufenbiel A man of many Experiences...
     
  3. Pandakk

    Pandakk Member

    i just ordered the book for him........


    actually i am not sure we are still in a relationship or friends only. what happened to him impact him a lot and i have no idea how.... even sometimes he push me away, ask me to move on, not waiting him etc.... those confused me but i will stay be there for him.... i think i am so annoying tho....
     
  4. Jonathan5757

    Jonathan5757 Well-Known Member


    You just have a good heart and being extremely s empathetic towards his situation. Girlfriend & just good friend awould get him a book about the subject. I know if My Girl got me a book like that I would read it. I think things like that are thoughtful and special. Personally I would hold on something like that. Also write a little note in the back of the book, so when he opens it there's a note in the back that remind him that you got them that thoughtful gift and we're thinking of him. I truly cherish things like that. I actually have a napkin that my Aimee wrote me, just because I had mentioned how precious that kinda stuff is to me. I love her so much...
     
  5. Pandakk

    Pandakk Member


    i will have doubt about this book that i will make him feel worse....mention the sad thing again......

    Do you know, is grieving people sometime said something they dont really mean it? or they cannot make the right decision bc they have so much things going on on their mind? deep inside my heart, i dont want him to give us up..
     
  6. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Just be patient with him. He's griefing. He may jus feel like he's not worthy of you right there. Showing him that you are there for him should mean alot to him. Dont allow him to use the grief to mistreat you though so if you see things turning in the wrong direction definitely speak up. I hope he appreciates how you're trying to be their for him that's important when griefing. It's good having someone in your corner.
     
  7. Pandakk

    Pandakk Member


    Yes. i know he needs someone be here for him. but i think he may think that he is a man and shouldn't cry or sad or show his own weakness. although he did say something to make me leave him. like i shouldn't waste my time for him, i am a good girl, ask me to move on etc. those made me so sad and disappointed but i knew he is going though something bigger than mine, worse than mine. i will be strong and patient. let him know i am here for him. Today he called me in the first time after one week (we didn't text to each other during this week). i am so happy when i see his name showed on my phone. but......worst scenario..... how do i know i should give up our relationship?
     
  8. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    It's possible that he just dont want you to see him at a low point. Some men dont like showing their vulnerable side. You can be there for him and give him a little space at the same time. Give him space but check on him and let him no you thinking bout him. I cant tell you rather to give up on your relationship or not. If you feel it's too much for you then you make that call. Hopefully he'll be ok and your relationship can with stand this. I pray the grief dont come between you too much. Just let him no you're there to listen to him but also express your feelings at some point too
     
  9. Pandakk

    Pandakk Member


    thank you so much!!! i dont know what to say.... :(
     
  10. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I hope you all don’t mind if I join in here. To me it sounds like your boyfriend/friend is in pain from the loss of his dad. It seems he might be having some trouble with his emotions over his loss. Believe me, he’s hurting every single day. By you giving him the gift of a beautiful book, it won’t make him sadder. He’s there already. Give it to him, let him you’re there for him and want to offer support. You’re not going anywhere, you understand he’s going through a difficult time. Please give him the book. And like Jonathan mentioned. Write a little something in the cover. Something simple but caring. You know I’m here for you. Something that shows you care.
    I had people in my life stay away from from me and not talk of my husband thinking I need to be alone or can’t talk of Ron. I had to tell people no, I’m hurting every single day. I think of him every minute of day, we were together 46 years, I think of him constantly. I need others to talk to me and offer memories.
    You joining this site, shows how caring you are and you have no intention of leaving him. You’re a good person. Follow through and give him the book.
    Take care, and keep us posted.
    Robin
     
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