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Be Strong! Be Kind

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by eyepilot13, Oct 1, 2021.

  1. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Lou,

    You did it again, you got me to laugh!!!

    I'm feeling the same way feel, totally "punch drunk." I'm glad to see so many posts here this morning, but I think I might need an entire pot of coffee to even attempt to keep up with everything happening around here.

    Enjoy all of that sunshine for me too, for all of us here, who have been dealing with miserable weather for way too long...

    As always sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
    (Said it twice, in case one of them gets cut off)
     
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  2. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Lou,

    I laughed over you forgetting to mention to Linda that she had a bit of breakfast dangling on her lip. I guess, it was understandable, you being distracted by that gorgeous water view as you were eating, talking with your waitress, etc, etc, etc. , But..., I love Linda's response to you about being clueless, and that this had both of you laughing. It's little things like this, that make me miss Bob so much... As always, Bob would have had something funny to say about this. It probably would become one of those "remember when's," that he would bring up from time to time if he wanted to see me laugh.

    Thank you for sharing that you couldn't go to the beach for an entire season too. It's was a big step forward, that the following year, you were able to put your toes in the water. I love that this summer, on the of the spur of the moment, without overthinking, you were able to wade in waist deep, and realized how much you missed the simple, but wonderful feeling, of being in the ocean, on a beautiful summer day. My friends who I always talk about, the ones I'll be sharing the ice cream crack with, think being near the ocean would help me. The husband especially feels this way. I just can't do it yet, but hope, that someday, as you said, I'll be able to not "overthink" things, and just go for it...

    Trying to make the best of this miserable weather, I'm cleaning the house. The washing machine just stopped. Got to put the towels and sheets into the dryer. Be back later...

    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
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  3. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Hahaha, Deb! You got me to laugh, too.
    So glad you got my message, I would've
    started pulling my hair out of my head
    if you didn't! Loved the "entire pot of
    coffee" remark. I didn't go out for my
    usual breakfasts at either Two Little Birds
    or Hula Moon, bc I got engrossed in the
    stories from the new members. I just saw
    that Jeff rejoined us. I was glad to see that
    and will respond to him AFTER more
    coffee!!!Thanks for repeating your
    closing prayer! Lou
     
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  4. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Don't tell Karyn Arnold, Deb, but I think
    I'm falling in love with you. I was just
    about to stop communicating here, and
    finally have breakfast ( at home) and
    much needed more coffee, when I saw
    your reply to the funny restaurant
    incident with Linda, and then, my
    progress of going back into the ocean.
    I agree with your friend's husband that
    you would be happier by the ocean, any
    place by the ocean, bc it's in your soul,
    as it is in mine. Your "soulmate", in a
    way, Lou.
     
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  5. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Lou
    I hope you enjoyed your day yesterday by the ocean and having ice cream. As we all know the ocean has such a calming effects. Glad you liked the picture I posted. Hopefully today is the day I get Teddys results and hopefully good results.
    Thank you for your support. Have a good day. Robin
     
  6. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you yet again for all your support and prayers. Ted and I need them. I did keep busy yesterday to get my mind on other things and the day went so much better. Staying busy is how I get through each day. The weather was beautiful yesterday too. Yard work, time with Teddy outside and working in the memorial garden kept me in fresh air most the day. And feeling better. Good luck with the wiper blades. I bet it goes well for you.
    And you’re welcome. I know it’s hard to see our loved ones struggle and that makes it that much more emotional. I get it. But you both over came and the memory will have the struggles in it but also the happiness that you pushed through. Hope you’re having a good day. I hope to have good news at some point today.
    Robin
     
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  7. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Robin,

    I'm glad you're keeping busy, that yesterday was a beautiful day. I l love that you made a memorial garden for Ron, what a special and beautiful way to honor/remember him. I'm glad that you and Teddy spent some quality time together outside in that beautiful weather. Although I know how worried you are, it makes me happy to hear that you're taking good care of yourself, by doing things that you enjoy, and especially that you and Teddy shared some quality time together.

    I'm continuing to pray for Teddy... Praying you'll be able to share good news with all of us later.

    Sending you lots of extra hugs today, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
  8. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you Deb, yesterday was what I needed. Lots of fresh air and keeping my mind busy. It’s very nice out today too. I’ve been on my deck with Teddy of coarse, but I have a headache today so not being active.
    I made the memorial garden the first spring after Ron passed. My daughter and I cleared out the are that Ron and I used to keep a 1/2 vegetable 1/2 flower garden. But we hadn’t had it in a few years. A little back story. We had an upholstery shop and we worked side by side. 40 some odd years ago one of the first things we bought for our new business was an air compressor. It was small but all we could afford back then. Of coarse we updated through the years, bigger and better. But we always held onto that air compressor. It stands now in the center of the memorial garden I made for Ron. Everyone who sees it thinks it was an awesome idea and so fitting. Sometimes it makes me smile sometimes it makes me cry but I’m glad I kept it and it represents us together. I have stepping stone in the garden, one has both our names on it one day I see a razor blade sitting on the stone. No clue how it got there but while cleaning out our business we kept finding razor blades. It became a bit of a joke. How many blades do you need in this shop. So, we decided that blade in the garden was a sign from Ron. It’s still there I haven’t moved it. One more short story you might enjoy. Ron had a table saw in our shop. While cleaning everything up, my daughter and I saw that Ron wrote in the saw dust, Ron loves Robin! I was there every single day, how did I miss that. So special. My daughter took a picture and I can tell you emptying our business was one of the hardest things Ive ever done. But cleaning up his writing in the saw dust was something I really didn’t want to do. I put it off as long as possible.
    Anyway, thank you again. Have a good day! Robin
     
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  9. Van Gogh

    Van Gogh Well-Known Member

    Thank you for asking how yesterday was
    by the ocean. I almost don't want to say
    how perfect the days have been here:
    sunny, cloudless blue skies, almost 70
    degree, light jacket temps. I feel bad for
    Karen, with the wildfires & smoke in Ca.,
    the heavy rain for Patti, and the awful heat & humidity & sudden downpours, for Deb
    in South Carolina. We really are a big
    country! I still pray for you & your loyal
    companion, Teddy. Lou
     
  10. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    The weather has been pretty perfect here too. Much like you’re having. i wish we could send them some nice weather. Those wild fire are horrible. My daughter worked with someone from CA and we’ve heard how awful it is. I feel for everyone there. Stay healthy and enjoy the nice weather while we have it. I have rain coming on Sunday. But no complaints after knowingbwhat others are dealing with.
    Robin
     
  11. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Robin,

    The story behind putting the original air compressor in the center of the memorial garden, and how you found a razor blade sitting on the stone, and kept it right where it was, is so touching... All of your love went into creating the memorial garden... I'm teary eyed reading this, both happy and sad tears at the same time. The love you and Ron had for each other..., the love you still have for him..., shines right through this post.

    I believe with all my heart, that the razor blade was a sign from Ron, that he is watching over you. I love!!! the saw dust story. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it was for you to have to clean the sawdust off of that table saw. I'm glad you have a picture of it. Have you ever thought about framing it? I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it was for you to empty your business.

    Bob and I owned a small title company, but in 2011, after struggling through 2007-2009, when the economy took a nose dive, we just couldn't hang onto it any longer. Bob had been sending resumes to every place he could possibly think of, and finally landed a really good job. We had to move. It was tough. Wait, I'm getting way off track here. What I wanted to say is that the sign he had made for the company, and so proudly brought home to show me, so many years ago, is hanging in my garage. He put it there when we moved to this house. It is difficult for me to look at it, but if I move, I'm hanging this sign in my next garage.

    Thank you for sharing these very special stories with me. I hope you feel better soon. Still praying for Teddy... Hoping you hear from his vet before the end of the day!!!

    As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
  12. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much. For also sharing your story.

    Having trouble thinking straight right now. Talked to the vet. She said she sees spindle cells that she thinks are nothing to be concerned about but can’t rule out cancer. Needs to be removed. I’m upset as you might guess. I’ll write a post for the others and go sit with Teddy.
     
  13. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I want to thank everyone for their prayers and good wishes. Just talked to the vet and she can’t rule out cancer. It’s not cut and dry. She feels it’s not but we need to remove it. She’s seeing spindle cells. Feeling pretty down. I’ll end here and go be with Teddy. I need Ron so bad right now.
     
  14. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Robin,

    No need to respond to this. I'm so very sorry, I wish I had the words to tell you how sorry I am. I will continue praying for Teddy... I understand how much you need Ron to be with you at this moment, and it's heartbreaking that he can't be... But, and this is another one of those BIG buts, he is here with you in spirit..., is watching over you...
    As difficult as it is, try to think positively. I think it's a good sign that the vet doesn't think it's cancer. I'm glad she being so thorough and she's going to remove it, just to be certain.

    Sending zillions of hugs to you, and to Teddy too...

    Sending you even more hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
     
  15. DEB321

    DEB321 Well-Known Member

    Robin,

    I didn't see this until I after I responded to your second post. I wish I could reach out across the miles and give you a big hug...,
    No need to respond!!!

    Sending more hugs, to both you and Teddy... DEB