I lost my baby bro to alcohol, drugs, & HIV (as a result of the substance abuse), 2 years ago. It seems like just yesterday. The biggest part of how I am taking this loss, is iI'm beating myself up, with the one question: what else could've I done to save him? Why am I still here, I was the oldest, I never thought he would go before me, I was his one & only big sister, who promised God that I'd always look out for him. I think it's called survivors guilt. Then before I can can even comprehend the loss, I lost My Anna, My favorite fraternal uncle, & one month after that, my favorite maternal uncle. My uncle's were only early 50's, my brother 39 years old. Am I ever going to smile again?
Sorry to hear about your brother and uncles. Guilt is, unfortunately, a part of grief for many. People often wonder if they could have done something to prevent the loss. Going over all the "what ifs" will drive you crazy. You will also never "get over" the losses. I think the best we can do is adapt to it. Hopefully, you will find this site helpful.
Sherrai, I'm so sorry for all the losses you've suffered. There is no good time or good way to lose someone we love, but there's no doubt when the losses are young people, when they're happening suddenly, and when there are many losses close together - it's going to be especially difficult to cope. Based on some of what you have expressed, I'm including some articles from our blog that I hope you will find helpful. They directly address what you are experiencing and I hope they can be a help to you: https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/multiple-losses-how-to-cope-with-loss-change/ https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/grief-roadblocks-let-go-tough-emotions/ https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/suicide-overdose-5-things-only-survivors-understand/ Please take care, and continue to check in with us. There are people here who understand. We're here to help~
