Anger and Screaming at spouse not sharing paid subscriptions.

My grief is in remission, anger is taking over. My husband has been gone 5 weeks now. We both had separate computers.
He was a tinker and had every goodie for his computer he wanted. After he passed I had to get on his computer to delete files and e-mails. I've been finding multiple paid subscriptions. Also, I've asked for his passwords several times, but he never got around to it.

I've tried to change passwords and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't due to security reasons.
It's been so frustrating. Every-time I look at our credit card there is another charge.

I know he thought he would live, but when he got worse he should of shared and passwords in case I ever had to cancel subscriptions. These subscriptions are not cheap.

So, now I'm venting to all of you. Has anyone gone through this? My head aches. I look at his computer chair and want to ring his neck, I scream at him.

I must forgive, I must. Thank you for reading.

 

All our emotions are normal and we go through them at different times in grieving. We lost our human person. As we all have faults and differences of opinion this extends to after death. My dear hubby was wonderful but not a saint. His faults live on in memory as do his wonderful qualities. It's OK to be human.

 

Thank you that helps ainie. It's week 6 now and still more subscriptions to cancel. But, this too shall pass then maybe I can put the good qualities first. Thanks again.

 

Hi cjpines, I'm sorry you are going through such tribulations. You have my sympathies.
I don't know how computer savvy you are so please excuse me if you already know this but, if your husband saved his passwords to that computer you can see them along with the name of the website and his username in the settings. You press on the three dots that are in the upper right hand side of the window, then press settings, then click on passwords. A drop down should happen and the name of the website along with the user name and password should appear. I hope this helps you. Take good care.

 

It should show all of the websites he has saved passwords.

 

Also, your bank and/or credit card company should be able to see the recurring charges on a particular card. If you call them and talk with them I believe they should be able to help you stop the charges and inform you what company you need to contact to cancel the subscriptions.

 

I may try this, but his passwords are in LassPass Vault if you know about that which is the problem, but I think my daughter was able to change their password. We'll see. Thank you

 

Good idea.

 

It's been 3 months since I posted as of Dec 11th, 2020 regarding my husbands subscriptions/passwords, etc. that I've had to deal with. With help from family I was able to correct/delete, cancel and refund everything he had going. My anger kept me strong, I had a purpose to make sure our finances would carry me through so I could stay in our home.

I think I've forgiven him and in doing so my grief is tearing me apart. All the feelings of his passing seemed to be masked by the anger, now the reality of his death is really hitting me hard.

Does this sound like I'm just now experiencing grief 3 months later? Does anger suppress grief? I really want to know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm not moving forward.

 

There is nothing wrong with you. Grief is an extended walk. 3 months is barely enough time for his death to sink in and become a reality, and as it becomes more real to you, the more pain you will feel for awhile-the length of grief has many factors: how close you were to the person, what types of roles he played in your life. how much support you have, the type of the relationship (mother, father, husband, wife, sibling, son, daughter), the circumstances of the person's death, and many more. Be patient with yourself and your grief. This is not something that 'goes away' overnight. We are used to quick fixes in other things and expect it to be the same with grief. This can be a growing experience, if you can let it take its course. God can help if you call on Him. Love and hugs to you. Stay connected to us please

 

I feel for you. I was such a mess trying to change passwords, cancel accounts, and put everything in my name that in a panic, I threw it all into the lap of a trusted friend, and she gave me a folder a week later with everything done and organized. She saved my life.

I've been widowed 4 1/2 years and I knew it was coming, but I'd say about 75% of it has been surprising, either in a good or bad way. Its varieties are infinite and inventive. You'll cycle through a thousand phases over the coming years. Embrace each one! You can't go around it: you have to go through it.

 

Thank you keranded. I thought I was the only one who has gone through this. It's been three months and I think I have everything taken care of. I had to get help from my brother-in-law on technical stuff, transfers, etc. He will be helping me with my taxes and any more computer problems.