Almost 12 years and it still hurts..

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by Kenzee, May 4, 2020.

  1. Kenzee

    Kenzee New Member

    Hello to everyone reading this!
    I am 25 and at times feel like I should be able to cope with the loss of my mother from breast cancer in 2008, and my best friend from an overdose in 2015 at this point. Whenever the month of their passing comes (mom in May and best friend in November) it completely effects me even subconsciously. At times, if I experience something that reminds me of them I just start crying uncontrollably. I know it will always be hard thinking of their sudden passing... and not having them here in my life as I wish they could be, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to get control of my grief even years and years later. I feel it still effects me so much and I wish I could find a way to cope with the loss so it stops destroying me.
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Kenzee,

    Love the picture with you and the dog. We have two black cats, one a street cat, we adopted both from the shelter. Animals, we all need them, they know us so much better than ourselves ever can.

    I am saddened by the remembrance of your mother during this month. Sometimes anniversaries are the hardest time to move beyond each year. I know I will always miss my parents, they did so much for my step-brother and two sisters. So when you feel bad for these special moments in time it is natural. I hope you have many moments to look back upon for your mom and your best friend.

    Grief can come and go. Sometimes all it takes is an item, a location, a special word(s) or some other thing to set us off.

    I hope your melancholy will gently pass eventually. Just make sure to watch out for your well being during this time. Please never give in to despair which can lead to depression. Peace be with you.

    -david

    I hope you like this melody

     
  3. Dave B.

    Dave B. Member

    Sorry for your loss and heartache, Kenzee. I’ve had a similar experience. I lost my brother to an overdose almost two years ago, and just recently lost my dad. Anything can make me break down. Just the other day, I saw a dish of Lifesavers and started sobbing, because my dad used to carry around Lifesavers in his pocket all the time. As I type this, I’m wearing a T-shirt my brother gave me, so I can feel a little closer to him.

    I don’t know the answer for your grief. I wish I did ... for you and me and everyone going through it. But it sounds like you have incredible strength in going on for these past 12 years. And it’s heartening that you still care about your mom and friend, even though it hurts. I hope I also feel so strongly about my loved ones 10 years from now.

    One thing that has helped me, too, is therapy. It really helps me untangle my messy emotions and start to heal. It’s great you are reaching out on here, and I’d highly recommend doing the same with a professional who can offer even more support.

    Best wishes,
    Dave
     
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