The love of my life died in a car accident on July 20, 2017. He was driving on the highway when a speeding driver lost control, hit a median and pushed my husband in front of a semi. Over 2 1/2 years later the legal side is still going on. Up until know I have been keeping myself so busy so I don't have to think because if I do then my pain is too big for me to handle. We had no kids so I am living by myself and with COVID-19 a lot of time on my hands. I cannot sleep and feel so alone. He was an incredible person who made me stronger but he also had high anxiety and did not stay still. So I know with all going on he would be miserable right now and am grateful he doesnt have to go through this. But the selfish part of me really needs him here with me and even though it's been over 2 years I don't know how to deal with life without him. I miss him so much and want to feel his arms around me telling me everything will be okay.