All I did was cry on and off all day...

I started back to work today.I had a great work day it went smooth after getting back into the swing of things. My job has a learning curve so sometimes it's a little bit tougher to get back into swing. Talk to Amy throughout my day.

It helps me through my day....
What bums me out most of all.....is coming home to No Aimee, No hugs, No kisses, it crushes me to think about...that I'll never receive a hug or kiss from her again..Ill never get to touch her again...I miss her touch so much...I weep many years just writting this...
It just hurts so much and I don't know where to turn for that love I miss it so much it breaks my heart I can't give my love Aimee anymore...I really don't know what to do with myself........I miss you my Angel, My Sweetness My Everything.....
-Jonathan Staufenbiel-A man of Experiences...

 

I'm sorry for your loss. I loss my fiancee too and I feel lost without him. Today was a bad day for me. My kids is what keep me going. I got to stay positive for them. So if work is what keep your mind occupied then that's something. I hope things get easier to deal with for you

 

Yeah, I feel like work helps keep me Occupy my time and not just focus.We spent the last year in a half glued to each other spending 22 hours a day together, so this separation is hard...I miss her so much, it sucks not having her home, I wish I could give her my money, I loved her so much I never wanted her to be needing anything...I made money for her...fir the kids...
And the kids 6 of them Considering she has a Big Mormon Family very loving of these children. When Aimee had her first heart problems 5 years back, she wasn't supposed to make it then. So any days past that was and is a blessing. I just have all this love for her and can't give it to her anymore, I'm a physical guy...I softy, very sensitive, I love showing affection hugs, kisses holding each other...I yern and miss it so, I just don't know what to do?...

 

I'm so sorry! Did you say yall have kids/ grand kids/ nieces or nephews? It want be the same by any means but channel some of that affection towards them. Let them be a lil distraction from your pain like work is. You may also want to look into seeking counseling. Hoping things get easier for you. I'm here for you.

 

Jonathon,
I feel your pain and the desire to hold Aimee, that’s hard to get passed. This pain we all feel is overwhelming, and the love we’ve formed with our loved one took time to grow to what we had. That doesn’t stop because they’re gone. In fact it never stops but with time it will get a little easier, then the memories start to make you smile instead of cry. Or smile and cry.
I know exactly how you’re feeling, Ron and I were together 24/7, for at least 30 years possibly longer. I stayed home after having our children but we have always been pretty much together since we first met 46 years ago.
Afraid there’s no magic fix, just take care of yourself and don’t push too hard. Your mind and body aren’t up to it. There’s too much pain.
Baby steps!

 

No, I wish... Her five children were from a previous marriage she had five kids with him it was a really good dude. Her kids are all so sweet. Her side of the family is Raising all of them. Their best all over there they know their Grandma and Grandpa and cousins brothers and sisters they're really close tight-knit family like that. I've only met them through holiday functions and unfortunately Amy's passing. We had gone out to lunch together a few times. That's when the whole family kind of got together with Grandma and all her kids with nieces and nephews and grandkids. But I don't see them ever reaching out to me. They do have their own problems a lot of them are grown. And the youngest one that was living with me and Amy at the time. She was out of wedlock and been living with Aimee for about ten 10 years. I miss her a lot. We have a lot of fun times. And she really warm my heart every once in a while being how cute she was and the cute thing she did.
This deep pain all time is hard and not misplacing it. I hate it I got all this love to give to Amy and I can't give it to her anymore. I don't know what to do anymore all I do is cry...it sucks
I'm so messed up.

 

Without you everything falls apart....

 

My heart breaks for you. I truly understand how you feel. Think about seeking some counseling though. Do you have friends or family that you can talk to or be there for you? Reach out to me anytime I'm here for you. I'm glad you vent through this group. Hopefully it helps with the healing process

 

I wish I did my father's a workaholic, so we don't talk feelings much just business, even though he lost his wife 5 years ago, my mom. So you think there be some kind of connection, but no. All business.
I have a pastor but I don't want to go talk to him about this. But I called and called him and I didn't see the effort in helping me at all. So I'm tired of man trying to solve my problems. I'll take them up with God, myself never had a problem doing this...
Thank you for reaching out to me I'm feeling my pain. I really would like to talk to you some more since you understand my situation. It's hard for me to even write this is it brings me to tears. Resist so much pain and grieving. And I'm just such a happy guy it just feels wrong to be sad all the time. And not me, thanks for reaching out. Much peace & Love
Jonathan Staufenbiel -A man of many Experiences