My name is Ashlee, I'm 20 years old. My boyfriend, Dustin, passed away on August 18, 2016. He was electrocuted at work when his ladder slipped & hit a live power line on the house he was working at. We come from a small town in Virginia. Although me & him were only together 3 months and some, we had known each other since we were kids. He had our lives all planned out. He told his parents who later told me that he had plans to ask for my hand in marriage after I graduated from college. He discussed with me kid names & when he wanted us to have kids. His parents have a rental property & he told them that after I graduated that's where me and him were going to live. The community has been so supportive. Although for the first week at his house, the house was packed with people. Every time I walked into a room I felt like everyone was staring. I would just walk from Dustin's room to outside to get away from the stares. Nights we would gather around outside & drink some. Being around my friends gave me some comfort, but seeing couples comforting each other hurts so much. I don't have that rock anymore. While everyone else cries to their boyfriend or girlfriend's shoulder, I'm left crying tears of grief, pain, & loneliness. Dustin & I spent almost every day together since we got together. He asked me to stay with him at his house because his mother wanted him close to home. He used to tell me all the time about how much his parents liked me. After he passed, his parents have allowed me to continue to stay with them. It's helped a lot. I try to keep minimal stuff in his room because it still smells like him & I don't want that to change. I spray his cologne every once in a while for comfort. On August 22, 2016 a group of us decided to go mudding & afterwards we decided to head to his gravesite. Three miles from his grave, we were in a car accident. They said the truck spun six times & each time one of us flew out. 4 of us were medflighted & 1 was rushed to the hospital on an ambulance. We're all alive which is a miracle, but 1 is still in the hospital & 2 of us are banged up pretty bad. I had 19 broken bones & nerve damage in my right arm. It was the worst week of my life. I wish sometimes that I wouldn't have survived the car accident so that I could be with him in heaven. However, I'm lucky to be alive & in such a tragic accident I truly believe Dustin & God saved us. I have a problem with shoving my feelings to the side. Things in my past I have tried to forget & I try to move on from things as quickly as possible. This has me feeling numb, angry, denial, hurt, lonely, & sometimes I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. I'm having a really hard time coping.