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A life cut short so suddenly

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Esmith21086, Jun 8, 2019.

  1. Esmith21086

    Esmith21086 New Member

    My brother passed away 1-18-19. He was killed while working in a storm drain. A tractor trailer driver drove off an embankment and never stopped and my brother tried to get out of the storm drain to escape when he was hit. The driver had suffered a medical emergency and also passed away in the accident. I constantly imagine what that was like for my brother that day, and for his work crew that had to witness that. We never got to see him again because the trauma was too much according to the funeral director. The chief of police reported out that it was a horrific scene that first responders can’t “unsee”. I hate every tractor trailer I pass on the road. My dad actually went to the scene that day because my brother wasn’t answering his phone or texting them back when they heard on the news that a county worker was killed. What a horrible thing for a parent to experience. Walking up to a scene only to realize their child was somewhere underneath the tent that was put up to cover his body. He was 30 years old and I think about him every single day and every time I look at his picture I get angry that he’s gone and his life was cut short so suddenly. My son was 18 months old when it happened so he will never remember his Uncle but I plan to be sure he knows all about him. This journey has certainly been the toughest road I have been forced to go down. I became pregnant right after he passed away (after trying for several months). We are expecting a little girl at the end of October. A sign that Jeff wanted to help put some joy into our family’s life during our darkest time.
     
  2. Angel

    Angel Member

    Hello. Your story spoke to me. I am so very sorry for your loss. A sudden, tragic loss like yours is so impossibly hard to grasp. I will share just a quick version of my story, what brought me here, because our stories are not so different. I lost my bf of 18 years, the father of my children, the love of my life on 2-25-2014. In short, he was crossing the street when he was hit by a UPS truck, killing him instantly. I also did not get to see him admonish because as you stated, too much damage. It has been over 5 years for me now and it is still devastating. It takes a long time for the initial shock to wear off when something so horrible and so unexpected takes away the ones we love. I just wanted to tell you that although it is still the worst thing that could have ever happened to me, I survived it. I think of him daily, as soon as I close my eyes and as soon as they open. I keep a framed picture of him with my son on my bedroom dresser, but I survived. As hard as it is, I know he would want me to keep going, somehow. I also know that all of the well intentioned condolences can sometimes feel so empty because no one knows your pain. So I only wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that you will survive this, as impossible as it seems. I hope this helps in some small way and I wish you joy. Find as much of it as you possibly can.
     
  3. Angel

    Angel Member

    Sorry that should say...I also didn't get to see him AGAIN, not admonish
     
  4. Esmith21086

    Esmith21086 New Member

    Thank you so much for your post. I am so sorry for your loss. Such a sudden loss is definitely devastating. Each day I find joy in the people who I still have with me. My son has just been such a bright light for me. He in many ways is helping me get through and laugh again. Our family has rallied together and supported one another but there is a lot of regret from many different family members. That certainly happens when the loss is so sudden. Thank you again for your reply and I hope that you continue to find joy.