7 week old daughter gone.

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by Samantha Page, Jul 30, 2019.

  1. Samantha Page

    Samantha Page New Member

    Life was chaotic, but felt like my family was so complete. And then tragically on May 25th 2019 I woke up to find my fiance passed out in the chair and our daughter had slipped between him and the chair and had suffocated in. She was 7 and a half weeks old. It's been over 2 months and the pain has only increased. We both blame ourselves, we feel like we murdered our daughter. It's been so hard to be good parents to our living 2 year old son. I feel like I want to die because the pain is so intense, but I cant die. My son needs me, but I'm also terrified God will take him too. We cant be the only ones who have gone through this and feel this way, are we? Please if you can relate, please reach out.
     
  2. Kendra's Rainbow

    Kendra's Rainbow New Member

    I understand your pain. I felt like I wanted to die after my ten day old baby girl died at home.This happened back in 1980, but I joined this group to hopefully help others. I struggled with the ...if only i had gotten to the doctor sooner, but there were no signs of a problem only a breast feeding problem that morning. And when I called the doctor he said call back later if it continues. It was too late my next call was 911 soon after. It was not my fault there was nothing I could have done. A virus that I had a week or so before she was born ended up being the cause. The virus went to her heart. You are not to blame either. And God is good He loves you...talk to Him.Tell Him how you feel. I was afraid something would happen to my son who was born the following year. That's a normal reaction I guess. I wish I had more support back them. Just remember God is love. ..look to Him for strength. I started reading the bible and it helped me. My son is now a grown man, healthy and string. I also have a daughter who was 2 yrs old at the time of Kendra's death. She also is a strong, healthy woman. Please do not blame yourself. You are a good person. Everything works together for good for those who love God.
     
  3. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Samantha,

    Wow, so profound a loss is just so terrible. I am very sorry. I agree, what has happened to you was unavoidable. Trying to come to terms with this loss is a test of the human spirit.

    I can see you believe in God. I am a Roman Catholic, of strong faith and conviction. During my times in the military I prayed so much to God.

    One time, in 1982 while stationed at Ft George G. Meade in Maryland. I was at work at the National Security Agency and had come home after shift, my 2nd son Chris was in my wife’s arms, she was screaming to call 911, his lips were blue. The ambulance came and saved our son.

    I can’t tell you how grateful I was, but my wife was so profoundly affected by this she went to nursing school, knowing that I might not be there one day, for her fear of me being deployed.

    She trained in the emergency room of Baltimore General Hospital. Sure enough I was sent off to South Korea a year later. Life is so fragile, we sometimes have no control on where it may lead us.

    I hope you will take the time to heal inside. It won’t be easy. Days will be long and nights may be hard to get through. You should reach out for help. Talk to family, friends and to us as well.

    Peace be with today, and may healing come.

    -david

    Here is a song for you




    This is a small collection of songs I started to gather as I was dealing with my wife's death from cancer, and it will have 5 years next month. I found violin music soothed me the most.

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkOiFVSICXoJFxZsKk4micA/playlists?view_as=new+visitor