I lost my grandmother (basically my second mom) in January to a stroke, my incle in April to cancer, then my husband/best friend to suicide last Thursday. One day before our wedding anniversary. I'm not sure what to do. I can't take it. I have so many questions on why. I'm not sure how to get passed this. I loved him so much. I'm a young bride and widowed at 20 years old.
Dear Aimee, I have no words to express my heartache for you. You are so young (you're even younger than my children), to have to face these huge losses all at once. You've come to the right place here, where you can share your feelings, we will understand, you will find wonderful people here, full of empathy and support. Everyone here has helped me a lot, since losing my husband suddenly, two and a half years ago. Please keep posting, I'm sure you will get further replies, I'm probably just one of a few who are awake at the moment, since I live thousands of miles away, in Italy. Sending you strength, dear Aimee. Rose.
Aimee, I can’t even imagine all you’re going through and at such a young age. My heart breaks for you. So many losses so close to each other, starting with your Grandmother. And it’s not even a week since you lost your husband. I’m hoping your parents, siblings, friends, are by your side and supporting you in any way they can. Take any help offered, just someone with you is helpful. Get through one day, hour or minute at a time. Rose is right that everyone on this site understands and knows how you’re feeling. And will offer wonderful support. I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack, he was taken from me 4 1/2 yrs ago. I found this site a year after he passed. I was not in a good place at all. This site and the wonderful caring people is what helped me the most. It’s important to talk about your losses and how you’re feeling. You can do that here with no judgement and with people close to you. I wish I could give you a big hug, I think you could use one. Sending you, love, hugs and strength, Robin.
Aimee, I won't waste your time suggesting that I can imagine how you must feel. No one could. But I can give you some worthwhile thoughts from my advanced years of life. Just by having been around for a long time I have seen much tragedy and the various ways in which it was handled. My immediate reaction to your overwhelming tragedy is to get help and empathy from those who are closest to you. Neither you nor anyone else could be expected to process all of this alone. You spoke of losing your "second" mom, which I hope means that you are close to your mother. I'm sure you must have family members and friends around you, and you will soon discover which among them are true friends that you can trust and rely on. They will be critical to your moving forward. I won't burden you with a laundry list of recommendations, but here is the one most important lesson that I have learned from the "wisdom" of my many years. Do not blame yourself for what has happened! Unfortunately, that is the natural reaction of a caring person like yourself. You will have a tendency to invent reasons why this is all your fault. Don't fall into that trap. You will say to yourself, "If I had done this or that, this would never have happened". No, not true. There are all sorts of reasons why things happen, and most of them are not even under your control. I don't doubt that there might be things that you will wish you had done differently. But isn't that true of everything that everyone of us has done throughout our entire lives? Some day you will look back on all this not only as the obvious gut-wrenching tragedy that it is, but also with pride for the strength that you found deep down within yourself to rebuild your life for the many years you have ahead. Dig down and find that strength! Jeff.
Aimee, the deaths of your family, in rapid succession, are beyond comprehension. As my friends , Robin & Rose, have said, words can't begin to express how deeply sorry I am. You've come to the right place, Grief in Common ( GIC) right away. My wife, Linda, collapsed & soon died in front of me, at 68, after 25 yrs of marriage. That was over 4 & a half yrs ago,and I was very alone, had suicidal ideations, and had to see a grief counselor. She kindly suggested GIC, but I didn't join 'til 2 years ago. Remember: your husband didn't " commit " suicide, in that no one commits cancer. It may be that he took his own life, over a depression you didn't know about. Lou
Hello Aimee, I want to say first I am sorry for all your losses, I know how hard loosing multiple people is. Since September I have lost, my puppy of 3 years, then my mom in October, my second cousin in February and then my Uncle in March. I was close to them all and now I too, do not know what to do or even how to feel. I am what I call flatlined on my emotions. The only thing I feel these days is anger when something little goes wrong. I am hoping this site can help me as well as my therapist to get through these hard times. Just remember you are not alone and we are all here if you need to talk. God Bless Penny
Hello Aimee, You have been through so much! I’m so sorry for your losses. Please keep coming back. This is a wonderful supportive community. I have lost my husband of nearly 30 years, and every single person here is living with significant loss. We’re here for each other and we are here for you. You are so young, and your life is still ahead of you. This grief will not undo your life. You will be able to live again and move forward with your loved ones in your heart, every single day of your life. Sending you hugs, comfort and strength. ❤️
I am so sorry for your losses. I agree with Jeffry have people close.to.you by your side will be crucial in getting through this. As.others have said this is a good site. We understand how you feeling and their is no judgements here. Praying for your strength.
Wow Penny you’ve been through a lot, I’m so sorry you’ve had so many losses and so close to each other. I imagine it’s hard to even breathe. Joining this site will help you. People here have understand what you’re feeling. Everyone is caring and supportive. I lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack 4 1/2 years ago I credit this site for where I am today. Just having people who understand has such a good feeling. I’m so sorry you also lost your puppy during all this. My dachshund Teddy was a gift from Ron (husband) and he keeps me going, makes me feel love and needed. I know that was another huge loss for you. Feeling angry is ok, your feelings need to come out some how. I’m hoping you have friends and other relatives offering support. You will get support here, keep visiting this site and posting when you can. Sharing helps. One day at a time, one thing at a time. Fresh air is very helpful. I’m glad you’re seeing a therapist. You’re doing the right things, I’m afraid it is a long journey but joining GIC, you now have friends to offer help and support. Be sure to take care of yourself Penny. Sending you hugs, much love and praying for strength. Robin
Penny I'm so sorry you've been through so much back to back. I'm glad you got a therapist cause grief can be suffocating. Anger is part of the grieving process so it's ok to feel that way. As time go by you'll think of some of the memories you made with each one of them and it'll make you smile again. There is no time limit on grief so don't put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. Praying for your strength!