2 Tragic Losses 6 weeks apart

Discussion in 'Loss of Loved One to Violence/Murder' started by Jenely, Apr 2, 2020.

  1. Jenely

    Jenely New Member

    My cousin, who was more like my sister, was murdered last year. Her and I shared a bedroom until we were 16 years old. She was my best friend. Domestic violence took her life. I live in NV, the rest of my family lives in NYC. Traveling to NYC, was extremely difficult. 6 weeks later, my 5 year old niece fell out of a 4 story window and passed away. I didn't even unpack my bags yet and was headed back to NYC to help my grieving sister and brother in law. I've been so lost. Their 1 year anniversary, has hit me hard and with this pandemic, my anxiety is extremely high. Especially because of how bad NYC is doing. I am in healthcare and I am trying to stay strong through all of this but I am having a very hard time coping. Feeling lost and I'm willing to try anything to help my mental state and not feel so alone with my thoughts.
     
  2. Jenely

    Jenely New Member

    Murder turned himself in. He and his attorney pushed back proceedings often. Now with COVID 19, postpone indefinitely. I'm angry that we still have no justice.
     
  3. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Jenely,

    I am sorry you have gone through these losses. When something like this happens it is beyond all reasoning. While you may search for answers on why, it won’t make you feel any better actually knowing.

    Sharing a life with another is such a strong part of us all. I shared a bedroom with my brother growing up. We had a special bond even though I was much younger. Your bond and sisterhood with her is something that will never be gone from your heart.

    Wow, to have also experienced the loss of your niece in such a tragic way is so sad. I feel so bad for you. Anniversary for a loss is the most troubling. When the day approaches we are reminded of all the bad, but I would tell you to start a new tradition and think of the beautiful times shared.

    While hurt is overwhelming, we can become stressed, lost in aimless thoughts, and not sure how to cope and move further with our sorrow and being able to face it and tolerate it. Memories are what is important, tears that you shed are precious and never be afraid to cry or express your anger, frustration and grief. Open up as you are able and talk about it. Nothing you say is wrong as you are facing that dread and fears of the loss we call sorrow and grief.

    You are an amazing woman for having chosen such a caring profession. It takes a person of inner strength. But just because you deal with others' losses does not mean you forget about yours. My gosh, you are hurt, you need healing, please allow yourself time to come to terms to all the losses in life.

    When my wife lost her 2 brothers, one of her sisters, her parents and grandmother who sheltered her during high school we were married, I was supportive of her during that time. When I lost my parents, grandparents, uncles she was very helpful to me. When I lost my wife it took a long time to overcome it. Loss is extremely hard to share, and even harder to try and do it all alone.

    You are no longer alone in your plight, we are here to help. Talk when you are able, cry when you need, and please never give in to despair. Peace be with you.

    -david

    This song is for the loss of your friend





    A Violin for the loss of your niece