10 year anniversary of dad's passing

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Anna325, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. Anna325

    Anna325 New Member

    Hello, so my father died suddenly when I was 10 in a helicopter crash. It's coming up on the 10 year anniversary now and I'm really having a hard time processing this and I'm looking for someone who can possibly relate. It's hard because after this anniversary, for the rest of my life I will have spent less time without him than with him. I feel horrible and guilty because there are so many things I forget. I feel like I never really even got to know him because I was just a kid and we didn't get to appreciate talking to each other as two adults. I feel bad for my mom and I don't know how to bring it up or how to ask to hear more stories and more information since that's kind of how I have to get to know him now. I just keep realizing more and more how much he is going to continue to miss like my wedding or my children and I have a boyfriend now that I so wish he could meet. I just don't know where to turn or who to talk to because it's been so long no one really checks up on this subject anymore.
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Anna, I am so sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose a parent at any age, and I don't think it's a hurt that ever leaves us. Especially experiencing this loss when you were so young, you're going to forever feel at least some of the void of the places you hoped your dad would be. When we lose someone we love, we not only lose them but the time and future that we were supposed to have together. I imagine 10 years later most people would assume that you're okay, and that does make it very hard because the audience of people to talk to may have shrunk completely. I believe your mom would like to share her stories with you. It will be painful for you both, but I think most people like to know that others are still thinking about a person they have loved and lost. And while it won't be the same, when it does come time for those big events, find ways to incorporate your Dad, with pictures or by playing a song that was his favorite. In the every day, find ways to honor and remember your Dad and to remind people that you are still missing him, and perhaps then you may get the support you need and deserve. I'm glad you have found our site and hope you can find some support and comfort here. I wish you all the best~