Jaenette, and
Joanne Marie Christine, So sorry for you both. Losing our parents as I have as well is a hard thing to grasp. They brought us into this world and gave us their undivided love and guided as we grew. You never realize how strong inside both your mom and dad are mentally until their children are in danger some way. They will lay down their lives for us before they will let anything happen to us.
Whenever you needed a hug, or a kiss or a gentle word or even a correction for being wrong, they were the ones who taught us so many things we now have ingrained in us as adults. Loss no matter who and when is very hard to accept in life. Sometimes bad things happen to us all. There are no rhyme nor reason, and we tend to be troubled by our loss.
Even when we know a parent is sick, they tend to hide so much from us, to help us cope. I know it tends to infuriate us, but they think what they are doing is the best thing for us. Sure they might get to the point of asking for ask, and we all happily help as best we can.
All our love for them, all our wishes for them sometimes go unanswered for no other reason than there is no reason. We can question why, but the longer each of us do that, we develop and keep alive inner turmoil that also does us no good. I am not saying accept it, no I am saying once it has happened and we now need to find a way for us to deal with life without them in it.
We, all three of us, and everyone else who has lost a parent, will hate it, ask ourselves could we have done more and by doing so we are not accepting what has happened. Coping under this cloud of grief we live under is a very harsh reality for us.
What I took out of life from my parents demise was all the times we had together as I grew. There are so many pictures and videos they took and saved, and all their music, from tapes, vinyls and what not they left for us. I can remember being at home hearing their music fill the air, it was pleasant. My mom use to love to sing to us and I will admit she sang captivatingly. One song, 'Red River Valley' was her favorite. I use to love seeing dad smile as she sang it. This was the song she loved to sing:
She sang so many more songs but this was the one that use to put a smile on my face and a tear or two in my eyes. I know there are no exact words to help us feel better at these times, but I look inside me for what memories they have brought to me in life.
It takes time to accept loss. The best you can do is take your days slowly, and each day give it your best effort. I hope you will not give up and surrender. We are all important in life. Take care and Bless you.
david
This song is for us all:
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